h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is currently "Earthquake Awareness" week in St. Louis. The news is informing me, right now, that I should go tie down my water heater and secure all my valuables with velcro.

Strange.

Er, so why Velcro?

*goes through Video collection adding velcro to all the tapes*

I thought it was a perfectly reasonable idea.

*Starts velcroing clothes to the wall*

Personally, I think they said "Velcro" because they're doing some sort of test to measure the holding strength of Velcro during an earthquake. But that's just my opinion.

They could have been more creative, but they usually aren't so I'm used to it now.

I mean, if they wanted to be really creative, they could tell you to secure your valuables with mashed potatoes or something.

I was thinking cat-litter, but you've got the general idea.

*replaces velcro with powdered doughnuts and coffee*

That's the spirit!

Ooooooh! *heads over to beetle's house*

hey, beetle...

I was wondering if you might want to secure your valuables with this old sock and Chap Stick?

maybe this origami pterydactyl, perhaps?

*Puts sock on the towel rack, chap stick in the fridge, and offers the bird a book covered in mash potatos*

*happy contented sigh* Everything's as it should be and all is right with the world.

Now I can sleeeeeep....

Oh damn! I have to go to work. Right.

mmm sleep...

*passes out pj's and pillows

balls up in the corner for a snooze*

*practices saying nothing*

Well, as long as I'm at it.

*practices saying nothing in her pjs*

Personally, I think I would feel a little self-conscious (not to mention vulnerable) lying there in my pjs, balls up in the corner.

Did I mention vulnerable?

D'Oh!

It's been a very long time since I fell off my computer chair in convulsions of laughter. I should download me an illegal local copy of that boffo Comedy Gnome proggie. It works.