h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am possibly the only person in the history of the world to consider having my nose augmented.

Lots of people have had their noses reduced, straightened and tweaked (and in the case of our beloved founder, broken and permanently rendered nonfunctional). The Nose Job has entered the language as among the most popular forms of cosmetic surgery. But I am prepared to lay money that anybody who has had the size of their nose changed has had it reduced.

Now I should probably mention at this point that I am not serious about this: it was a momentary reflection, that's all. But there is a reason.

I want to be Pete Townshend.

As has been observed more than once, the job is taken, but all that separates me from infinite Mod cool is a hooter like the front of a Boeing 747.

I mention this merely because cosmetic surgery -- tweaking, inflating, straightening, curving, and engorging -- seems to be the order of the day, and as it gets cheaper and within the financial reach of the ordinary person, more and more of these ordinary people are having it done.

Now most people are aiming for some rather strange ideal of beauty, and a very few are aiming for a specific location (looking like Elvis or environs). I would have been aiming for infinite Mod cool, because I am peculiar.

But here's the important thing. Having an enormous snozzle would seems to make you a probable candidate for tweaking and nasal curtailment, but Pete Townshend didn't. He just got on and wrote brilliant music. He decided that instead of looking like someone cool, he'd make it be cool to look like him.

It can be cool to look like anyone. It can be cool to look like you. Why change what is cool?

Now where did I put my chest expander and Charles Atlas book?

hiya dose any one wanna chat e-mail me on [email protected] and then i will back to soon

How did Post 2 manage to appear in here? Strange. A hooter-fetishist perhaps?

No clue. Still there it is. I used to worry about my nose beig too big and the I saw The Kids Are Alright and everything, like, changed.

...so now you want an extra couple of inches?

And a nose job, yes.

(I left it wide open for you and you didn't disappoint me)

[contemplates Tefkat's comment]

That's just too easy!

Oh, you prefer it to be a bit harder do you?

That's about the size of it, yes.

*Gives Andrew a big hand for that*

[bends low in the traditional gracious response to a Big Hand]