h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Date: June 17, 2002

Subject one: Money
Do you know what I find particularily annoying about rich people? Arogance. Not all rich people, but at least the ones worth speaking of. You see, with all that money, you could find a cure for breast cancer or diabeties or heck, the common cold! But no. Instead they buy as many yaughts as possible just so they can go home and brag about it to their girlfriends and let's face it. She's only dating you for your money anyway. Not to be sexist or anything, it could also be the other way around.

Subject two: Chocolate
I'm sure you've heard of the Forrest Gump phraze "life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get". Well some idiot in the chocolate business decided to invent a map on the inside cover of the chocolate boxes so that it is no longer a surprise. That defeats the whole purpose of having a box of assorted chocolates in the first place! It's no longer a surprise! Then you tell me, of course, well why don't you just not look at the cover? Well duh! Now that you HAVE the cover, what person is going to risk getting some gross kind when they know for a fact they could just look on the box and pick their favorite? Then why don't you mix around the chocolates before you eat any and then it will still be a surprise? Well I'll tell you. No one wants to go through all that extra work just so they can enjoy it. It becomes no longer enjoyable. It's insane.
For more information on this topic, read my novel, A Grain of Futility by J Leigh (of course you can't do that unless you email me at [email protected] and ask me to email you a copy, which I can and will if you ask). And of course, the person who invented this highly annoying thing probably became rich...and bought a yaught.
I'm not picking on the rich people because I'm poor because I'm not. Even though I can't afford a car, will need a loan to get through college, don't have a job, and whos allowance will probably drop after my parents add that additional room onto the house which costs just as much as the house, I'm still not poor. I just don't like greedy people. Maybe it's because my 10-year-old brother is diabetic and I think everyone should donate to the cure for diabeties. I don't know.

Topic 3: Blood
Why do you suppose there are so many types of blood? I mean A and B and AB and O and then you get into all the positives and negatives and how is anyone suppose to get a blood transfusion around here. There's really no point in having a variety of antibodies and antigens. It doesn't benefit anything; just makes it harder to mix blood. Wouldn't it be so easy if lets say you accidently hacked off a limb and you needed more blood, you could just go next door with a measuring cup and ask your neighbor for a pint. After all, blood is mostly water anyway. We shouldn't have to worry about our body attacking itself. I've never had a blood transfusion, but knowing me, I probably will someday. After all, I've had pnemonia more times than I can count (including right now), bronchitous, lower middle lobe syndrome, asthma, TMJ, Scoliosis, frequent bloody noses, etc. And I'm only 15. I think that I'll probably end up with cancer since I've had so many X-rays! Then could I sue for that? I don't have a good lawyer (or any for that matter). I think I'd like to go to Wolfram and Hart (from the TV show Angel) and get Lindsey McDonald (Christian Kane <http://www.christiankane.net or http://www.kanemusic.com&gt or maybe Lee Mercer (Thomas Burr). I don't know. I've completely lost the topic now. So I'll shut up.

"Gimme a buzz. Love ya! --Scuzz" [email protected]

--Scuzz - my name is scuzz because as you can see, my screenname is Svlad Cjelli Slartibartfast (obviously Svlad Cjelli is Dirk Gently's real name and we all know who Slartibartfast is) and therefor my innitials are SCS and for those of you who don't know, there is a computer term called SCSI and pronounced Scuzzy, but I don't have an I at the end, so it's just Scuzz and that's probably how you would pronounce SCS anyway. Also the cat in Reboot was named SCSI. heh heh.