h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As an American, I have spent years watching American Football and can probably give a definition that the rest of the world might understand. American Football is a masculine version of the American daytime soap opera. The majority of American women have a favorite soap opera whose characters they have come to love and hate and whose stories they have consumed for years on end. Men, generally speaking, cannot stand soap operas. They are sappy and rely on human emotion rather than basic animal instinct. Football on the other hand is about teams of men trained to push an oblong airbag through another team of men trained to stop it. Men can watch their favorite team (show) every week and watch their season (story) unfold amongst the various team members (characters). Often times, by giving them enough money and power, they end up on the news tied to stories that are much more sordid and exciting than anything dreamed up by the soap opera writers. I will explain more about the rules of football to anyone who things that he or she can teach me cricket.

The best part of this soap was when one player involved in The SuperBowl was caught soliciting a prostitute in Miami the night before the game this year.

As for explaing cricket, try here:

http://www-usa.cricket.org/link_to_database/ABOUT_CRICKET/EXPLANATION/