h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Alright mr !!!!!!

Was just passing, having a sneaky peek, thought id be polite an say hello. Well thats about it see you around....... *wave's


em's xx

Well, hello to you too, I suppose...
Do you have any purpose other than politeness? Or were you tricked into thinking I'm interesting?
...

Erm no purpose really im just a nobody, but yeah interesting helps, lets just say you intrigued me........

Intrigue

1.
a. A secret or underhand scheme; a plot.
b. The practice of or involvement in such schemes.

2. A clandestine love affair

I'm certainly not involved you in any love affair, nor have I particularly been involved in any secret scheme, unless you're number 4...

If you are, you are instructed go out tomorrow and buy a small beach-house on the southern coast of Guatamala. Then, over the coming week, arrange for your family to meet you there. Then one night, kill them all and make it look like a mass suicide. Allow the police to investigate, but late at night, steal the bodies from the morgue before they are examined, and float them out to sea, each with it's own raft and lit candle on the chest. When the police are investigating the house as to the disappearance of the bodies, give them a harrowing night by locking all the doors and setting the roof ablaze. When the ashes are smoldering, post a sign in the front yard that reads "Welcome to Hell". Any representative of the media in any form should be shot on sight. Soon you will rule all of Guatamala,and then, it will become our base of power...

If not, disregard all previous information, and please do us the favor of killing yourself, it takes so long to find you people...

Intrigue ;to rouse curiosity

And indeed i was curious, but now it seems to be ive stumbled upon a obnoxious cynical mad man, I suggest you commit yourself to a Psychiatric hospital before what is left of your sanity
disappears, and you be left strapped upright in a chair; fed mushy peas (and other non-solids)
with a rubber spoon in a darkened room with only your tortured and erratic fantasies for comfort,
and occasional self-pleasuring........

occasional?

I'm of course joking, i'm perfectly sane, and do not partake in any frequency of self pleasuring, as you so subtly refer to it...

hmmmmmmmmm what ever turns you on !!!!!

oh i was only having a joke if you'r offended i do apologize for any inconvenience i may have caused, im really a nice person honest.