h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have never had an incredible rapport with travel, being born in New Jersey, and frequenting preschool in Hawaii I then proceeded to maintain a stationary attitude in the state of Maryland for eight and a half years, making only occasional road trips to the midwest to visit relatives. In the year 1988, due to causes beyond my control i relocated to northern Italy, where i have passed the better part of the last 14 years. Now I find myself once more in motion, currently in Bakersfield, California and moving to Los Angeles for the next few months.
While I would take great pleasure in stating that this newfound momentum is of my own devising, it would be a disgusting lie. I am here to confront my eternal nemesis, Italian Burocracy, in the unfamiliar territory of SoCal. I believe that the Italians have the greatest and most Tumoral burocracy in known history, having invented the Beast themselves. Exactly how terrific such an animal can become in the land of 'Relax, man' I have only begun to comprehend.
I am sure that however inconvenienced I will find myself by all this, I will surely find a considerable amount of material for the Guide in this experience. Access to terminals will undoubtedly be an issue, but I hope to give productive reports on apartment hunting in greater LA, services and utilities, and interesting weather.
Hoping not to find myself in Mr. Prefect's demise here, I sign off now and salute all field researchers out there....

i did make it back, in july at that.. then the situations here took hold and i completely forgot about the guide!! blasphemy!! call the frogstar fighters! or at least the foo fighters, dave grohl entertains me.....