h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...could a delusional nut job like this be taken seriously by *anyone* long enough to have his name appear on a ballot:

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/10826468/

Yeah, right, he'd get *my* vote. On a jury. As incompetent to stand trial and requiring inpatient treatment at a mental health facility.

Sheesh. The fact that crap like this winds up in the news is an embarrassment.

Not only in the US! In the UK town of Hartlepool, they elected a monkey for a mayor. The guy who is the mascot for the local football team stood...and won. Apparently he's making a good job of it!

NonUKians may not know the story about The Hartlepool Monkey Hanging. During the Napoleonic wars, a French ship was wrecked near Hartlepool. The only survivor was a monkey dressed in a sailors suit. The citizens of Hartlepool, assuming it to be a Frenchman put it on trial for treason, found it guily and hanged it. Ever since then, whenever anyone mentions Hartlepool it has been traditional to say 'They hang monkeys there!'

Not even all UK citizens know that one, Edward; thanks for the education.

We've also had the Monster Raving Loony Party in the UK for a considerable length of time. Screaming Lord Sutch may have passed on, but the Party's still going. They launched a new website on Monday.

I find it really funny, apart from the risk of people running on gimmicks instead of firm political platforms actually getting voted in. But then again, if the Hartlepool monkey is doing well, perhaps it's not so bad.

A vampire, eh? Think of it as a legitimate opportunity to bail up a politician and shout, 'You suck!'

Let's not forget Britain's Yogic Flying Party, whose policy was to bounce up and down on mattresses for world peace. I still have one of their, er, fliers.

I think these gimmicky candidates perform a very useful service. If a voter is disappointed with all the primary candidates in an election, usually their only option is to not vote, which makes it look like they have no interest in who wins. Gimmick candidates take the place of the non-existent vote of No Confidence on ballot papers.

Certainly the monkey didn't *expect* to be elected. It was something of a protest vote against the other parties. Hartlepool would generally be safe (Old) Labour territory. A significan factor was the general antipathy towards the barmy idea of elected mayors as yet another layer of government. (Note to USAnians: On the whole, our mayors have only ceremonial roles and are appointed by local councils).

As for voting for joke candidates...I heartily disapprove. I certainly don't approve of simply not voting - not three miles from where I'm sitting, people died for our right - nor of spoiling ballots. I think that even dissenters have a duty to vote for the least worst of the serious, political candidates. Or, if you can't stomach that - form your own party, fer chrissakes! Mind you, that's easy for me to say. I at least still have the choice of a socialist party, even if I don't endorse their entire programme. Across the rest of Britain - well, I guess that many will have voted for the least worst last time, and that's how the bastards got re-elected.

It's always funny to see the silly candidates, but that doesn't mean that I would ever actually vote for them.

However, I have been called silly for voting Green Party when they've had candidates on the ballots. I though that was personal choice rather than silly; they're not a single policy party, much as people have that impression.

They don't tend to appear on any ballots in this neck of the woods other than in European elections, though.

I *suppose* the Greens count as a serious political party . They have 6 MSPs.

However, I guess there could be a difficulty distinguishing between joke parties and serious ones...especially in the case of UKIP - and even more so of Vanitas. Pretty sick jokes, mind.

I got UKIP and Vanitas fliers through my letterbox. Also BNP and Plaid Cymru. Disturbing!

I don't recognize all of those names- nor do I know much about the Green Party in general... will have to do some more research this weekend!

While I can appreciate that a nonsense vote could potentially prove a point, as in cases where all of the candidates on the ballot are "ugh" candidates, I wonder if the other folks on the ballot are going to get the point?

Although perhaps this particular candidate might benefit from his platform- the appropriate authorities might become aware of his desperate need for help.

Snailrind, I've never heard of any of those groups you mentioned in that last posting... will I be able to find readily available info about any or all of them? My interest is definitely piqued!

Better take a crash course in Welsh squeaking if you want to delve deeply into Plaid Cymru!!!!

One of my ex hubbies was Welsh & on meeting the in-laws for the first time pap asked where i was from "Birmingham" i replied nervously; "hmmf; you steal our bloody water you lot!"

(Snaily will understand Elan Valley stuff!)

Then he taught me to say; and this is phonetic: "Toch din bob sayth" which he reckoned was the only phrase a true Welsh person needs to know. It means basically "Bo**ocks to all Englishmen!"

I still remember the Coal Board used to have an ad campaign, highly ironic at the time of massive pit closures in wales, the only people who could afford to buy homes there were the Bloody English. Not The Nine O'Clock news did a great spoof which has become a classic:

<<<'Come Home to a Real Fire (Buy a Cottage in Wales)' (a reference to a spate of arson attacks by Welsh people against English people's second homes, and a parody of the contemporary coal marketing campaign)>>>



zdt

I think the best point-proving election result was when Martin Bell ran as an independant candidate against Neil Hamilton on an anti-sleaze platform in 1997, and won. It was a great message at the time:

>> "His [Martin Bell's] legendary fight for the safe Conservative seat at Tatton, on an independent, anti-corruption ticket, made him a symbol of the revolt against perceived sleaze in the governing Conservative Party. He won the seat with an 11,000 majority.

Describing himself as an "accidental MP", Martin Bell was persuaded to run again in the 2001 election, this time for Brentwood and Ongar, in Essex - another constituency where the sitting Conservative MP, Eric Pickles, was at the centre of controversy.

He did not win the seat, and immediately announced his retirement from politics, saying, "I have won one seat and lost one - that's not a bad record for an amateur."

However, he did stand as an independent for the European Parliament in 2004 but failed to win a seat.

He now acts as an ambassador for UNICEF, and as an outspoken critic of the state of journalism today. He is married with two daughters, and now describes himself as "too old" for both journalism and politics." <<

Info from Martin Bell's resume: http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/correspondents/newsid_2625000/2625151.stm

Akshully, Terri...Twll dyn pôb saes. If you thought the first word was 'Toch', then you're probably out of practice pronouncing your double-l's.

Quick UK political education for the USAnians:

The BNP (British Nationalist Party) are out-and-out fascists. They are trying to paint themselves as the alternative voice of British politics, but in fact their members are vicious thugs whose hobbies include collecting Nazi regalia and intimidating/ beating up British Asians. Unfortunately, they have had some successes in local council elections. [I've just looked back and realised that I had 'viscous' instead of 'viscious'. That is also true.]

UKIP: United Kingdom Independent Party. More far-right than fascist. They blame all of our ills on Brussels and advocate withdrawal from the EU. Also strongly anti-immigrant. The typical member is a middle-aged eccentric who believe that a woman's place is in the kitchen.

Vanitas. (Real name Veritas). A peculiar, orange-hued dimwit named Robert Kilroy-Silk (former Labour MP and politics lecturer!) used to host a daytime TV show - roughly Oprah-Lite. He lost his job after making disparaging comments about Muslims/ Arabs in his newspaper column. He joined UKIP and was elected as an MEP. He claims he had a deal whereby the leader would step down in his favour. When this didn't happen, he founded his own party, which got spectacularly few votes at the last general (ie national) elections - although he is still an MEP. For now. Since he was elected by proportional representation as part of the UKIP list, he is unlikely to succeed again. Coincidentally, the other week, when I was darn sarf, I had dinner with an old friend who once appeared on Kilroy with his wife, talking about sexual satisfaction. But that's another story...

Other 'minor' parties, for those interested: The Scottish Nationalist Party (perfectly respectable left-of-centre politics. The only Westminster party to have been consistently anti-war) 5 Westminster MPs and the 2nd largest party in Scotland. The Scottish Socialist Party - 6 MSPs. And I guess that in the next election, the Liberals will be a minor party too. Some see them as the 'nice' alternative, but they're currently intent on revealing themselves to be just as nasty as any other party.

For simplicity, I'll leave out the various Northern Irish parties (The Unionists, the Official Unionists, The Democratic Unionists, Sinn Fein, the SDLP...because nobody really understand them . By tradition, the mainland parties do not organise in Northern Ireland.

Hey-up: I wrote a post on this thread and it's disappeared! I must've pressed 'preview' instead of 'post'.

Anyway, Edward the Bonobo says it all better than I did. Except I'd spell the anti-English racist bitchery as: "twll du'n bob Saes." Its literal meaning is, "black hole to every English," the 'black hole' in question being the bumhole. I'm sorry to say that as a teenager living in a particularly nationalist area, I found this phrase hilarious and thoughtlessly used it on my English friends. I thought it would make my fellow countrypeople accept me as Welsh, but they didn't and kept calling me an imperialist immigrant anyway. Sometimes I think we Welsh *deserve* to have our culture and language taken off us.

I don't know how to put a hat on my 'bob'.

Type it (him?) in Word. For the ô, do ctrl+shift+6 (shift+6 being ^), then type an o. Then cutandpaste. Similar procedure for words like Nestlé and Übermensch - but hootoo can't handle Polish or Czech.

Have you heard of the Welsh poet/singer, Bob Delyn?

I don't have Word, I have NeoOffice, because it's free.

Hang on...

Mae bôb tân yn poeth.

Hell of a palaver for one post, though.

I haven't heard of Bob Delyn. What kind of stuff does he do, then?

Of course, Word is also free . Also, in Glasgow, we have at least two well-known, long-established shops where you can get stuff at a fiver a pop. One of them is like an underworld Argos. They have everything listed in catalogues around the wall, you choose your number at pay at the counter, and the guy makes a phone call. In Argos at this point, your purchase would arrive on a conveyor belt. Here, though, a motorcycle pulls up outside...

Then, I'm in the proces of converting my PC to Linux, an entirely different operating system, and *all* the software is free...although I'm spending in time what I'd save in money.

Bob Delyn? Folkie stuff. 'coure, more and more bands are singing in Welsh. I think it was Supergrass who had the right to do so written into their contracts. Myself, I always liked the Peel bands, Anhrefyn and Dat Blagau.

Thanks for the primer in UK politics, Snailrind and Edward. It's much appreciated!