A Conversation for University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall
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Peer Review: A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
Skankyrich [?] Started conversation Jan 24, 2008
Entry: 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall' - A30525022
Author: Bob Stafford. ACE - Keeper of The Treacle Shadow - Support the Beeblecasters @ A29805636 - U3151547
Hi all - presenting Bob's Uni project. I'd appreciate fairly snappy reviewing, as ideally I'd like to get this in and out before I go on holiday.
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
happyScienceman Posted Jan 24, 2008
Overall, I thought it was fantastic. The information, I felt, was in depth, and the footnotes were perfectly placed. HOWEVER, I felt that the sentence structure and organization could, if you are interested in this sort of thing, use some revision, perhaps? You might try giving it a quick read and putting the simmilar ideas together in one sentence. Of cource, the current structure didn't interfere with the information you presented, and, as I said it was truly fantastic, so I am just picking nits here (is that the idiom?) By the way, I had no idea it was that active around the wall. It may seem silly, but I had never given thought to it! I sort of thought they just built a wall and left it!
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
The Punctuation Police Posted Jan 25, 2008
A28868160 - History of the Edge of an Empire
There are a few problems with punctuation in this entry. It's our job to point them out.
Known as Hadrian's Wall today the Roman name is unknown, however there is evidence
This should be:
Known as Hadrian's Wall today, the Roman name is unknown; however, there is evidence
or better still:
Known as Hadrian's Wall today, the Roman name is unknown; there is evidence, however,
"quarried at Haltwhistle Burn, Roman graffiti"
that should be a semicolon
the Trajan's wife ... remove the word "the"
Roads such as Stanegate were often used to define a border of this type, and were occasionally referred to as the Limes4 In Britannicus the Stanegate road was the original border
We don't understand this sentence. Perhaps there is a missing full stop after the footnote. Even then, it is not stated what Britannicus means.
from the eastern endtowards the west ... there's a missing space there
It was not simply a wall it had many elements ... this should have a semicolon in the middle
The original plan for the wall did not include the forts, they forts were a result of a major re planning
This should be:
The original plan for the wall did not include the forts; they were a result of a major replanning
between 14,000 and 17,500 men, there were no men ... that should be a semicolon
Between each fort there were small gates in the wall ... what does this mean?
The gates were only used for a short period and many were found to be blocked -- did the Romans wake up one day and find them to be blocked? We think it should be "and many were later blocked up".
were towers or turrets8 there were two ... put a semicolon after the footnote
were cavalry forts examples of these ... some punctuation please
as construction of the wall continued to the east ... shouldn't that be "to the west"?
The 1700 years ... should have a comma in the number
the original provision of gates may of which were later walled up ... "may" should be "many"
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
vogonpoet (AViators at A13264670) Posted Jan 25, 2008
Part2: Journey
Stanegate Fort Corbridge - Bob left translation change at bottom of entry, in Slight Ammendment Please" thread, possibly not noticed by rich.
In similar vein: Why does wall fort 7 not have a tranlation?
also, at the end of the wall, a missing capital at WF16:
'The eastern end of Hadrian's Wall. total on the Wall 83 miles.'
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
The Punctuation Police Posted Jan 25, 2008
A28868250 - A Journey Along the Edge of the Empire
the Roman mile was 1000 yards and shorter than a standard modern mile ... No. The Roman mile was 1,000 paces, not yards.
where it crossed to the southern bank ... crosses
The road then goes on to Castlesteads then to ... put a comma after Casetlesteads
Bowness
Roman name: Mais ... You give it the name Maia in another place.
trade has been found .
... stray space before full stop
Vxelodunum
... you should use a U rather than a V for this. The Romans had only one letter "V" that they used for both U and V. In this case, it is obviously a U.
to defend the of the wall ... there's a word missing here
"Castra Exploratorum was 12 miles to the north of Hadrian's Wall." ... do we need this footnote, when you have just said that it is 12 miles? And later in footnote 8 you say that it was only 8 miles north of the wall.
where course of the wall moved ... should be "the course"
numbering approximately 1,2000. ... is that 1,200 or 12,000 ?
"Built in 112 AD, and overlooking the River Irthing Birdoswald (size 22,259 sq metres) started in is a major fort on Hadrian's Wall." ... this seems to be confused
the original construction method of the changed from stone to turf ... there's a word left out between "the" and "changed"
In the description of Carlisle, you say that one of the places you can go from there is Carlisle, 11 miles. That can't be right. And the Roman name you give for it Maglna isn't pronounceable in Latin.
citivas ... should this be civitas?
We like the translation of Aescia.
Staingate ... should be Stanegate
the 85 AD, frontier ... remove the comma
a mansio ... since this looks like a misprint of mansion, it should be in italics to highlight it as a foreign word.
"Some letters written on wooden tablets were found in the area, known as the Vindolanda writing tablets these provide an insight into every day Roman life." ... this paragraph should be omitted since you said the same two paragraphs earlier
Carvoran / Carvoian ... which is the correct spelling?
"and was connected to it by road." should be "and were connected"
Halton Chesters / Helton Chestors ... spelling?
Brocoliia / Brocolitia ... ?
The end of the Halton/Helton Chestors section gives the next town as Burgh by Rudchester, but you go on to talk about Corbridge
Segdeunum / Segedunum ?
a units of 1,000 in total ... something wrong here
something there for everyone ... missing full stop
interest in the period they have shops ... this should be two sentences
reconstruction of a gatehouse the site ... put a semicolon after gatehouse
through areas of private land it is often possible ... two sentences
the re built stone fort ... should be "rebuilt"
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
Skankyrich [?] Posted Jan 25, 2008
For Bob:
'And the Roman name you give for [Carlisle] Maglna isn't pronounceable in Latin.'
The Roman name seems to have been Luguvalium. Bob, can you check this one out? I'm also unsure about the '11 miles to Carlisle'; I presume the fort itself was some distance from the town itself, but can you confirm this please?
'The end of the Halton/Helton Chestors section gives the next town as Burgh by Rudchester, but you go on to talk about Corbridge'
Can you explain or clarify that one?
I've done the rest, and thank you very much for your time, chaps! Please keep them coming.
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
bobstafford Posted Jan 26, 2008
The Roman name seems to have been Luguvalium. Bob, can you check this one out? I'm also unsure about the '11 miles to Carlisle'; I presume the fort itself was some distance from the town itself, but can you confirm this please?
11 miles to Old Carlisle, Cumbria (Magolna)
'And the Roman name you give for [Carlisle] Maglna isn't pronounceable in Latin.'
The 'o' is missing a typo sorry.
'The end of the Halton/Helton Chestors section gives the next town as Burgh by Rudchester, but you go on to talk about Corbridge'
From Wall Fort 11. Halton Chesters
The Stanegate Fort Corbridge should be the next geographicaly but it is not on the wall but to the south so a journey along the wall would miss it.
All wall maps follow this convention.
Wall Fort 12. Burgh by Rudchester
Stanegate Fort Carlisle Roman name: Luguvalium suffers the same fate, however Stanegate Fort Carvoian Roman name: Magis is on both in close contact with the wall and the Stangate road and wall maps follow the convention of listing it. It is a little confuseingand I have faild to make it clear, please advise
Stanegate Fort Carvoian Roman name: Magnis missed the 'n' another typo
sorry
Thank you for all the work.
Bob...
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
Skankyrich [?] Posted Jan 26, 2008
I didn't quite understand, but I got there in the end. you do explain about Carlisle and Corbridge at the start, but I didn't make the connection. I've made both nice and clear now
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
bobstafford Posted Jan 27, 2008
It seems quiet how is it going.
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
The Punctuation Police Posted Jan 29, 2008
A28801811: The Staffordshire Moorlands Patera
bark blue ... should be "dark"
"but what makes it important is around the rim it has an inscription" ... would be better as ...
"but what makes it important is the inscription around the rim"
the fronteer of ... "frontier"
" The Latin names indicate Camboglanna, 'the winding valley', fits Castlesteads better than the name Banna, 'the spur'. The latter is better suited to Birdoswald, located on a ridge overlooking the River Irthing.
" ... this is unclear. We don't know what you were trying to say here.
if the patria was made for Draco ... you called it a 'patera' in other places, not a 'patria'.
Eburacum .. we think this should be Eboracum
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
bobstafford Posted Jan 29, 2008
>>The Latin names indicate Camboglanna, 'the winding valley', fits Castlesteads better than the name Banna, 'the spur'. The latter is better suited to Birdoswald,<<
It sounds wrong but both translations were checked and unlikley as it sounds they are correct in a majority of referances. Mark Hassall however reversed the names as you suggest. But a Cohort of Dacians were stationed at Camboglanna (source Notitia Dignitatum) and Dacians were the garrison at Birdoswald. On the other hand Castlesteads had the garrison of the Cohors IIII Gallorum Equitata, French Gauls.
Any suggestions... I went with the most probable.
Sorry about the typos thank you for spotting them.
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
Skankyrich [?] Posted Jan 30, 2008
I've had a bit of a mishap here. My travel plans have changed, so they'll only have been in review for five days when I go away. Unfortunately, Bob, this means that I won't be able to make any changes until the weekend of the 15th Feb - but I will add links that weekend and check in to make sure everything is sound before I send it in
Sorry for the delay, I hope you understand...
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
The Punctuation Police Posted Feb 1, 2008
This Entry is called "The Western Coastal Defences" but it seems to contain two different sections, one about the Route along the coast from the wall to Ravenglass, and the other an overland route from Ravenglass to a different section of the wall. This second part isn't really part of the Western Coastal defences, is it? Should the title be different or should this be in a separate entry?
And why do you continue the route from Ravenglass beyond the wall to Neatherby and Broomholm? What has this got to do with the Western Coastal Defences? You seem to be walking around in circles and covering the same ground over again. These forts are described elsewhere.
could have easily dealt with if it ... remove the word "if"
The road then goes on to Beckfoot then to Maryport and then to Burrow Walls.
... would be better as...
The road then goes on to Beckfoot, Maryport and Burrow Walls.
on the estuary of the rives, Esk, Mite and Irt ... "rivers"
Situated near the river Wampool ... should be: It was situated near the river Wampool
You have Maryport (Alvana), Roman name: Aluana and Maryport (Alavana). You should stick to one spelling of the Roman name.
And settlement of timber-framed ... should be: A settlement of timber-framed a
12,000 square meters ... metres
in an strong elevated position ... in a strong elevated position
Total so far 44 miles. It is very likely that there ... the sentence starting "it is very likely" should be moved to the previous paragraph.
Total so far 53 miles. You have now completed this section of your journey: You travelled 51 miles. ... there's something wrong here. Is it 51 or 53?
Travellers this road ... Travellers on this road
the fort is sited on natural harbour ... the fort is sited on a natural harbour
The road runs northwest through some of the most mountainous country in Britain .. the route you describe goes east, and then turns and goes almost due north, so we suggest you drop the word "northwest" from this.
continue to Hardknot ... add an extra t
7,500 square meters ... metres
Galava at the northern end of the Hard Knott Pass ... eastern end
Glava / Galava ... which is correct?
breeched ... breached
The Roman Signal-Station and small fort the, others in this chain of signal stations appear ... this is confused
You say: continue to Carlisle (Voreda) and in the next line: Carlisle - On Hadrian's Wall8 Roman name: Luguvalium
Which was the correct Roman name?
On Stanegate noth ... north
Vxelodunum ... Uxelodunum
You have: continue to Burgh by Sands, (Aballava) and in the next line continue to Old Carlisle, (Aballava). They can't both be Aballava.
84AD ... add a space
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
The Punctuation Police Posted Feb 1, 2008
Entry A27788304 ... The Forts And Camps North Of Hadrian's Wall
before the could penetrate ... "they"
The first on the road to Bridoswald ... "Birdoswald"
the legions supplies ... "legion's"
Vxelodunum ... "Uxelodunum"
Footnote 1 isn't needed as you explain the same information two lines later.
A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
bobstafford Posted Feb 1, 2008
This Entry is called "The Western Coastal Defences" but it seems to
Hi The Punctuation Police
Thank you for the time you have taken and the advice.
contain two different sections, one about the Route along the coast from
the wall to Ravenglass, and the other an overland route from Ravenglass to a different section of the wall. This second part isn't really part of the Western Coastal defences, is it? Should the title be different or should this be in a separate entry?
the purpose was to indicate this system of defence was accssable from tw directions.
And why do you continue the route from Ravenglass beyond the wall to Neatherby and Broomholm? What has this got to do with the Western Coastal Defences? You seem to be walking around in circles and covering the same ground over again. These forts are described elsewhere.
This was to show the full route north of the wall. If it is repetition please delete.
Al the rest need altering
Maryport (Alvana) is correct
Maglona is correct for Old Carlisle
Thank you for your interest
Key: Complain about this post
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Peer Review: A30525022 - 'University Project Page - Hadrian's Wall'
- 1: Skankyrich [?] (Jan 24, 2008)
- 2: happyScienceman (Jan 24, 2008)
- 3: The Punctuation Police (Jan 25, 2008)
- 4: vogonpoet (AViators at A13264670) (Jan 25, 2008)
- 5: The Punctuation Police (Jan 25, 2008)
- 6: Skankyrich [?] (Jan 25, 2008)
- 7: Skankyrich [?] (Jan 25, 2008)
- 8: bobstafford (Jan 25, 2008)
- 9: bobstafford (Jan 26, 2008)
- 10: bobstafford (Jan 26, 2008)
- 11: Skankyrich [?] (Jan 26, 2008)
- 12: bobstafford (Jan 26, 2008)
- 13: bobstafford (Jan 27, 2008)
- 14: The Punctuation Police (Jan 29, 2008)
- 15: bobstafford (Jan 29, 2008)
- 16: Skankyrich [?] (Jan 30, 2008)
- 17: bobstafford (Jan 30, 2008)
- 18: The Punctuation Police (Feb 1, 2008)
- 19: The Punctuation Police (Feb 1, 2008)
- 20: bobstafford (Feb 1, 2008)
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