h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Four political leaflets arrived through our door during the course of today, all of minimal content, print quality and political conviction.

They originate from our respective candidates for UKIP, the BNP, the English Democrats, and Labour.

B

The leaflet campaigns have been very half arsed this time round. My personal favourite was the scary looking UKIP candidate who basically promised nothing

I've had quite a few that vary widly from telling you nothing (Lib Dem) to being very carefully printed and informative (again, Lib Dem).

Our Labour one was an all out attack on the Tories, whilst the Tory one was very well presented and a little more subtle on the topic of their main rival

Hmm...apparently our UKIP candidate is called Valentine. His first name, not surname.

As if being a member of UKIP wasn't a handicap enough...

B

Isn't a name like that too exotic for UKIP?

Well, the Tory candidate is called Jesse...

And, interestingly, the Green candidate has the same surname.

B

I heard a great quote recently about how the Greens can be likened to watermelons

Hard to cut up with annoying pips?

Green on the outside, red on the inside

I was offended to get the tory and labour leaflets. Lib dems are always sending newsletters out, being helpful, doing stuff around the place, then it's election time and the other wasters decide to show their printed material. WHERE ARE YOU THE REST OF THE TIME???

Still gonna vote Green though.