h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I bought the new Jeffrey Archer novel. Is there any hope for me?

B

no.

It's already affected your ability to type!

Oh, wait...

This is truly devastating news. How can you even contemplate giving money to the man?


Geggs

Do you have a reason for this strange behaviour? A rationale?

TRiG.

I want you to go stand out in the corridor and think about what you've done.

What on earth possessed you to do such a heinous - and, frankly, risible - thing?

You could've at least got them from the library. Or shoplifted them.

Anything that meant not swelling his wallet.

Perhaps B got it at a second hand book shop - Archer wouldn't get any wedge from that.

B confessed all here and we all know how Jeffrey can use confessions to his own advantage.

I presume that it was purchased because it was precisely the right thickness to shore up a wonky table, now wasn't it. Wasn't it?

We're all ignoring the obvioius solution, that it was bought as a christmas gift for someone B doesn't like.

**finishes writing GreyDesk's address on a medium-sized Jiffi Bag**

Sorry? What was that?

B

Hey, you leave Mr. Archer alone. He's head and shoulders above Dan Brown.

RF

Funnily enough, this new Archer does draw comparisons to the D* Vi**i C*de.

And it is much better written.

B

You've been reading it???

Truthfully though, I can't really have a go at B for buying an Archer nove when I myself have paid real cash money for a copy of the 'Turner Diaries'.

I was inquisitive, and in the early days of Amazon I was intrigued by the opportunity to encounter books that are not normally stocked by your common or garden branch of Waterstones. I wanted to know what the fuss was all about. But that is no excuse. I am and I remain thoroughly ashamed that I put money into the pockets of people who write and publish such pieces of racist shit.

Err, I've read Archer's prison diaries. But they were lent to me, and they were surprisingly interesting.

Well someone who seems to have invented pretty much everything that has come out of his mouth for decades really ought to have got good at spinning a yarn...

Still wouldn't give him a penny of my hard-earned though!

A while back I heard him on the radio, discussing House of Lords reform and found myself agreeing with him - felt out of sorts for months after that.

To the man's credit, he did come out of prison with a large number of very good ideas for prison reform - some of which were the opposite of the views he'd held before he went in. He wasn't afraid to admit that his previous views on prison were wrong. Unfortunately, despite him being ideally placed to be a prime mover for reforms, being a politco who'd actally been there, no one listened to him.