h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Could you please ring the local environmental healthpeople and tell them that the owners of the Aran Hotel (I forget where, but somewhere in Northampton) have a dog which enters their kitchen. I've been meaning to do it for two years but have never got round to it. Cheers.
PS I dropped a fiver in the Grosvenor Centre in 1991. If you see it, give me a shout and I'll give you an address to send it to.

Hey, no complaining about the dog, how else is the main course meant to get into the kitchen?

The main course was dead and had to be dragged there - it had died of anthrax three weeks previously. The dog, however, merely seasoned the food with hairs and slobber. I'm not normally so vindictive, it's just that the couple that run the place were right miserable pair of gits.

Don't you hate that when they think they're doing you a favour by letting you eat in their fetid hell-hole of an establishment

They were probably mounting some sort of subtle process at the fact that they'd been booked up for three weeks with a bunch of chefs and waitingpeople from the Edinburgh branch of bella Pasta, at Northampton for their re-training. it wasn't our fault and I doubt that anyone I want to know would willingly stay there, though there appeared to be a few local couples that would actually make the voluntary effort to go there for sunday lunch.

There's always one eh? - or a few in this case, but the principal still holds. I make it my aim in life to be that 'one'.

Subtle process? I must get some more sleep.

Who needs sleep when there's a world of experience out there, just drink more coffee