h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

so..you must be mrsthewife.....we've not been formally introduced - as I'm sure you are aware, I am your husband's stalker...hello.

I thought it only right and proper that I set the record straight and ensure that any lies that sdm may have told you about my considering you to be anything less than the articluate and very intellegant person that I am sure you are be quashed...

I understand if you have not seen the truth and the light about our Lord and Master Frank (it is only a matter of time...it will come to us all) and apologise for my first reaction upon meeting you some time ago (I believe I may have screamed "BURN THE WITCH!"). Obviously a burning is not necessary and (in light of the company you keep)...a light toasting may suffice...


I trust babydogmonkey is over her recent illness and that the various body fluids have not caused any unsightly staining (we once had 48 hours of both ends every 20mins, so you have my sympathy)....

A pleasure to make your aquaintance.....

Hmmm, Dugdog eh? Yes, I have been made aware of your presence in the world by my lord and master.

I had been told about his stalker, indeed, I was also warned that I may be on the contact list. In reality, I must say I am honoured, but then, I don't get out much.

I accept your apology for demanding I be burnt at the stake, I realise that anyone delusional enough to strike a rapport with superdogmonkey must be a little in need of help. I hope, however, to enjoy the light toasting in the near future.

BTW I cannot get over my anti-zappa stance as my first introduction to Mr Zappa's work was Penguins in Bondage and it all went down hill from there!

I have to say...penguins in bondage would not be my first in-road of choice...I'm actually working on a 'zappa for people who think they hate zappa' compilation at the moment...as I am of the opinion that such a vast and eclectic back catalogue can cover all tastes...

fuelled by my dillusion that EVERYONE will love zappa one day....something of a crusade you understand...

gotta go get some work done...good to finally make your aquaintence...

Yeah right, stranger things have happened I suppose. I will await your suggested track listing with a relatively open mind/ear but no promises. I'm sure we can agree on one thing though - his really did make sure his kids got good names.

seriously!! it's been an ongoing project....

and yeah, good names - my son Jacob nearly got 'plastic' as a middle name.....my surname is 'mackie' - you work it out...

but it seemed too cruel...

Plastic doesn't sound too bad to me. Our sprog was called Spenda (in utero) and SDM did think of putting it on the birth certificate. I think you know our surname don't you? SDM says it would have been character building!

Picture the scene where 'Spenda Penny' met 'Plastic Mackie'...they would spend the entire time bitching about their f**king weird parents....they would hate us!! I can think of better character building techniques....maybe.....