h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is a very touchy subject, so please don't be affended if any or all of these next comments describe you. (Hopefully they don't)

The traits you inheret sometimes seem like there's a set number of skill you can have, and they are distributed at randomto you. It came to me while sitting in a class, I was talking with a friend of mine and I noticed that the football player next to my friend was getting extreme pleasure and humor out of sticking his finger in the CD-ROM drive of his computer and watching it close on it, and then stop. I sat there thinking how a person could be so stupid as to repeatedly stick his finger in a computer's CD drive. I asked him why he was doing that, and he replied very simply, "I'm th' smart'st kid ever", in a deep southern drawl. I proceeded to ask why ,if he were so smart, why he was sticking his finger in a CD drive when it obivously does not say "please stick finger here" on it. He replied, while still having his finger stuck in the drive, "I ain't doin' nuthin'."

I figured by this time nothing fruitful would come of this argument, so I proceeded to talk with my friend. After a while, I glanced over again. Instead of sticking his finger in a drive, he now wanted to see if he could rip the buttons off of the computer mouse. I wanted to shoot him in the foot at this point. Now, these computers were fairly screwed up to begin with, but he was actually able to make it worse. I asked him again why he was trying to rip off the buttons of his mouse, and his only reply was "I need to fix my c'mputer." I based my theory of trait value on ther fact that this jock could run a mile in about 5 minutes, but he couldn't screw in a lightbulb without killing a kitten, breaking a vase, and electrocuting himslef at least three times before reaching the ladder.

Now, I have read another article on the guide entitled "Stupidity and Evolution", and I figure that that author isn't far from hitting the nail on the head with the 'stupidity genes' idea, because I had just found the prefect exampleof that theory in motion. I am still suprised that that man is still living and hasn't been lynched by a pack of angry squirrels and been beaten with acorns.

Maybe you _should_ have shot him in the foot; that way he wouldn't be able to run a mile in 5 minutes AND he would still be stupid.