h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

what else can I be?

Ive always hated having bpd..being 'wired wrong'emotionally..hated the insecurity,anxiety,confusion and fear thhat goes with it..especially in times of emotional stress,as ive been recently..which is really the only time it becomes apparent i have anything wrong.im not selfish,manipulative,uncaring or any of the other things i may seem when im struggling with my feelings..i am however at those times,confused,hurt,selfdoubting,anxous etc and fighting with myself to stop those feelings and deal with whatever logically and normally!it can be very hard..but i really do try.
Ihave failed again..ive dealt with a recent situation badly,not coped as well as idve liked.and the other person needed me to...made a real mess to be honest..n i have a lot of guilt because of it,because i couldnt in the face of a flare in my symptoms ,give someone special to me the one thing they asked for..though i truly wanted to.i have apologised n asked his forgiveness..or at least to let me know he understands n does not hate me.i only wish there to be no hard feelings between us,even if friendship is no longer possible.i am truly sorry and truly feel guily for letting my probs feck things up...i so didnt want or mean for that.i just hope ive not lost a good friend forever..or hurt him at all.my apologies have been ignored so far..but they really are meant.from the bottom of my heart..n all i hope for now is forgiveness..for coping poorly beause of my probs..i couldnt be more sorry for it.

Oh dear!

Well you know you meant them, so forgive yourself more, hun

You have apologised enough

No more!

but surely if id apologised enough it would be accepted or at least acknowledgedi just want to put things right,for both oursakes..but dont know how..all i can do is be sorry..which i am..i never wanted to hurt ,anger or lose him as a friend..but it seems being sorry isnt enough

AWww.. Dearlove!!!

Bpd ain't easy... my brother has it.

Maybe he'll come around, maybe not, but you know your sorry and you have to just leave it time to be accepted and be able to forgive yourself for what happened.. easy for me to say I know...at least *you* recognise yourself for who you are and what you are, you have to accept that you are not always going to get what you need from other people...or indeed other people from you. We all have those kinda days!

I don't like people too much who can't forgive or say sorry themselves, altho I can understand some of it because not everyone's nature is the same, and some need some time to get over stuff. Your very admirable Serephina. People fall in and out all the time....try not to dwell on it too much. All of us makes mistakes in dealing with emotions, those that can forgive them or say sorry for them are the best people EVER!!!

Don't hang yourself too much.

im not too bad..just get very irrational,confused etc n dont cope too well in emotional stuff like breakups!not to start with anyway..

Serephina - we all (well I do too) look back and think of the things I should have said, the mistakes I should not have made, the way I could have handled things better...

Forgive yourself and just try to make less of a hash the next time your in a similar situation then in every way every day you will improve, even if it is 0.01% it is still an improvement...

Ok, I'll shut up being an unvited agony auntie type thingy....*chuckles*

Just as long as you'll be allright..

Breakups stink no matter wot!!!!

simpost..

hes a very forgiving person from what ive seen with others..maybe thats part of why im 'hanging myself'so much..for him not to forgive or even acknowledge an apology,i feel i mustve been truly awful,a lot more than i realise!

more simposts im slw today

I think you've done all you can and like I told you it's up to him now

like i said seems being as sorry as i am..which is a great deal believe me seems to be not enough..

am i that bad?cos if i am i truly dont know it!

No darling, a little reassurance
was all you ever needed

then why do i feel so guilty?and why does someone who truly cared for me,one of best friends seem to hate me?i mustve caused that..