h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Citadel Spandau - A27727734
Author: PaulchenPanther - U9040301

Hello,

This is my first attempt at an entry and I`m looking for help with the language because I`m not a native speaker.

Hello PaulchenPanther

Well done this is a good entry, you are right the English needs work but not that much I read and understood every word

Well done, Paulchen. I do hope the native speakers will be in here with advice soon.

Hello Bob,

Thank you.
Let me ask you, please.
What do you think needs a revision? Or where should I work on?
Have you got proposals to improve the text?

Thomas

Thank you very much indeed, Bel. Without your company I wouldn`t have got to that.

Oh you would have, I'm sure. It might have take you a bit longer, but you would have.

Go check your messages for ideas, sort of now-ish

Try and add these facts and elaborate on them a bit.

The Spandau Citadel is believed to be the oldest remaining structure in Berlin

Built on an island created by the meeting of the Havel

The fortress that you see today was built from brick in 1630.

The Citadel was an ammunition factory during the Thirty Years' War

I have just found a photo this is a magnificent fortress.

What do you mean by sort of now-ish, please?
Sorry, I don`t understand the meaning.

It means: the sooner the better.

I see.

You talk about the citadel as you`ve already been there. Great!
How can I set in the photo?

That is down to your article and some slight knowledge of the subject

I see you've been working on this quite a lot.
First, I would suggest that you add Bob to the researcher list, he has done quite a lot of work with you in your thread.

Next, there are a few things I found while reading. It's not all, just something to start with:

some hundred meters north - metres

building periods of barricades and destroyed by fire, -destruction through

The citadel was effected by the - affected

Schmalkaldic Wars, - no comma. It needs a footnote with a brief explanation

the elector - not sure whether this is commonly known, may need a footnote

Chiaramella de Gandino - doesn't need to bve in italics

massive triangular the König, or King bastion - not sure what it means, should that be triangulars (plural)? would be better like: massive triangulars: the König, or King bastion

theses defended the main gate - these

he who completed of the outer works - who completed the outer..

the Brandenburg, bastion - no comma

and in 1578, the building work the was finally completed in 1594 after 32 years. - bastion in 1578, and the building work was finally....


Returned into the hands of Prussia Friedrich I let parlay the ravelin in front of the westcurtain in 1704. - I don't understand what this means

More once you've addressed my points.

I have been looking at this and I think this would be better, what do you think?

Five bright barrel vaults in the earthwall of the Brandenburg bastion were named Italian courtyards because of their building masters
and their unique flair resulting from the colourful stones, the acoustic, the metres thick walls and the arcs.



There are Five bright barrel vaults in the earth wall of the Brandenburg bastion were named Italian courtyards because of their building masters
and their unique flair resulting from the colorful stones, they have a unique acoustic quality due to the meters thick walls and the shape of the arches.

I think the entry is about ready for the peer review page. Any one else think so?

Well done PP brilliant first entry


Bob...

Oops missed this

Brandenburg bastion >>they<< were named Italian courtyards >>after the<< building masters

Bob...

Thank you, Bel,

I take your points into account and begin to work on them now.

But before, I already asked Bob to be added to the researcher list days ago.
He doesn`t want to be added for personal reasons.

"Returned into the hands of Prussia Friedrich I let parlay the ravelin in front of the westcurtain in 1704."

- means: French troops left the citadel in very damaged condition.
To avoid further occupations Friedrich I. let parlay the ravelin which stands in front of the westcurtain in 1704
among other things to amplify the fortress.
The ravelin previously was made of wood and got walls of bricks in 1704.

No what I said was the addition of me as a recearcher shoul be left as it was your first entry and it was unfair to pinch your first entry as it wont count to your solo score total.



Put me down as a helper as I put Stefi down on my Mary Queen of Scots entry Bel will tell you how...

Bob...

Hi Bel, Bob advised me to ask you how to put him down as a helper as he put Stefi down on his Mary Queen of Scots entry.

This is baised on the code on the Mary Queen of Scots entry;-



Bobstafford


This will mean that the entry will count as a solo entry.

Is this correct Bel