h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, this is all very interesting, we are actually going to create a representation of all the good things about our planet, because that "mostly harmless" business was just giving us the short shrift. Of course much detail must be overlooked, you know, like wars, toxic atmospheric omissions, New Jersey and so forth, but i think we can create something pretty passable for the rest of the galaxy, don't you?
A question: who will administer the Bureau of Interstellar Tourism? Will it be under the UN? Or have an office in every country? Or just operate from the backyard of a well-respected grocer in South Birmingham? Who will decide what sites should be seen? And not be seen? How will it work with the Bureau of Interstellar Disinformation to "quietly deal with" those items and events we do not wish our valued guests to notice/criticize/write home about/drool over/panic at the first sight of?
Looking forward to constructing with you this great and beautiful bureaucracy to assist our planet in taking its rightful place as one of the "must sees" of the universe.

Hmm...

Now, the trick with tourism is that it doesn't mention the bad bits about the place one is convinced to visit. For example, one does not hear about the smog level of a city, or the way humans are packed to the square metre, or the level of crime...

No.

The technique is to focus on the aspects that can be marketed successfully. Hence... if we're going to market Earth to interstellar thumb-put-uppers, then we must hide the fact that much of the Earth's natural beauty has been stripped away in order to provide us with energy, that people actually die of hunger, that there are humans who are paid an enormous amount of money chasing a leather ball, only to kick it away IMMEDIATELY, and that Barbara Cartland was a published author.

Who's going to administer this? An interesting question. My vote goes to the little man who plays an upturned paint tin in the city. (Which city? - Well, doesn't EVERY city have a little man who plays an upturned paint tin???)

The only drawback is that the little man who plays the paint tin may not understand just how crucial to life on earth (and life in the universe) opera and classical vocal music are. Few people know the truth... that the vibrations of certain operatic performances add the required spin to the earth's rotation, and add a background pattern of pitch radiation which is essential to life everywhere...