h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At a party where musicians, friends of the cast, directors, newspaper people and so on were gathered, one man was patently puzzled by the presence of a woman on the very shady side of sixty. "What's that woman doing here?" he whispered. He was given the reply, "Oh, she's so-and-so's singing teacher." The man was utterly astonished. "What, there are people who actually TEACH singing?" he exclaimed.

TO SING BADLY, YOU DON'T NEED A TEACHER, TRUE...

This exemplifies a view of singing that seems entrenched in our society: i.e., that you do not NEED a singing teacher to teach you how to sing. "My 2-year-old knows how to sing!" smugly say fond parents. Yes, that's probably true... to sing (that is, to make noises approximately in pitch and of a more-or-less listenable quality depending upon the natural ability of the child/individual) requires no training at all.

But to SING (to produce vocal melody with steadiness of tone, being equal to the demands of the music, singing on pitch and with a pleasing timbre, not limited by the technical demands so that a combination of technique and emotional validity for the words and music can be achieved) is something that needs to be taught.

"NATURALLY GOOD" VOICES

We've all heard them - they sing in karaoke bars, they sing at parties when their friends persuade them to get up and sing. They're the amateur singers with a naturally good voice.

A naturally "good" voice is a nice place to start - but it IS only the start. It's the rough get that will be polished into a stone of beauty.

But - even if you do not think you have a naturally good voice - do not despair! Good vocal technique can actually mould your voice, so that qualities you never knew you had may become apparent.

LIFE'S A PITCH, AND THEN YOU SING

The most obvious aspect in learning how to sing correctly is to ensure that you learn to control your pitch (exactly WHERE the note is - or, in scientific terms, exactly what rate of vibration is produced by you for a particular note). To this end, scales and other vocal exercises will be given to you - but it's not just a matter of singing through them, eager to get them out of the way. Practise vocal exercises with care... the major concern should be to increasingly ensure your pitch is as certain and steady as a marshy, damp swamp is NOT...

JUST BREATHE...

However, the most important thing you'll ever learn in singing is how to breathe. "What?" you say. "I've been breathing since I was born!"

No doubt... but you've not been using your breath to support your singing voice to its best advantage, unless you were an infant Farinelli! The thing to remember: using the breath correctly takes YEARS! Not because it's overwhelmingly difficult, with convoluted twistings and too many steps, but because the body and mind need to become accustomed to using the muscles of the body in the "right way" - and need to become accustomed to deliberately relaxing the body, removing unnecessary tension, except where the tension is NEEDED. (Most humans instinctively try to produce vocal melody by bunching up muscles that don't need to be bunched up - and it makes singing look incredibly difficult!)

IMITATION - THE MOST SINCERE FORM OF FLATTERY?

A word of warning: DON'T try to sound like your favourite singer! Everyone has their own individual sound, and your entire body is going to be used like an instrument to make your OWN sound. If you try to force a particular sound, you'll be unfair to your own individuality, besides limiting yourself (and probably doing a thousand things wrong, technically speaking, in order to imitate someone who would be more flattered if you used their example to be the best "you" that you can be, musically speaking).

GETTING A TEACHER

There are a lot of singing teachers out there... How to choose the best one? My personal bias is HEAVILY in favour of the classical techniques as a basis for singing in general, and I sing a wide variety of music (but opera and classical singing, from 11th century monody to early 20th century Prokofiev, and everything in between, are my deepest love). Some teachers will only teach classical voice training, whereas others will only teach modern singing. Choose the style that is right for you, but bear in mind - most aspects classical training can be carried over to other types of singing, whereas modern singing is of limited use for classical vocal repertoire.

Having decided on the style, now decide on the teacher. Things to take into account: the qualifications of the teacher, the recommendations of other students, and other more logistical and practical considerations (i.e., cost, and location.) A lot of really good singing teachers are horrendously expensive - don't set out to pay a fortune unless you want a career in singing AND like the teacher enough to pay for their children to go through school.

FEELING STRETCHED... OR UNSTRETCHED.

It may be that the teacher you chose just doesn't suit you. Maybe the teacher is too gentle-paced for you (you want to be stretched, challenged, etc., etc.), or the teacher goes too fast for you (you feel as if you're "passed" on aspects which you still feel you haven't mastered, or rushed from piece to piece), or the teacher's personality is clashing with yours. Whatever the reason, it's wise to give the teaching style a fair chance (the teacher might know better than you!)... but if you feel you have done so, and you're not comfortable or happy, then find another teacher.

Not every good teacher will be right for you.

THE SONG'S THE THING

Having found a good teacher - practise! Don't use the teaching session as your practise session. Take the time to do a little each day - even 20 minutes a day is good. If you don't read music, the teacher will no doubt set you exercises to help you learn how to read those notes (and believe me, it isn't difficult to read music).

You might be longing to get those techniques you're learning into use with a song - your teacher probably won't be in any particular hurry to let you. But inevitably there are compromises between what's ideal for your voice, and what will give you the incentive to keep learning. So when you DO receive a song to learn, learn it thoroughly. Try to memorise the song, avoid imitation of other singers, think about the words, use those techniques (even if your technical control is only in its infancy), and have fun!

Shakespeare referred to music as the "food of love"... Singing is your invitation to that banquet of sheer delight...

Almirena,

have you ever thought of taking this post and submitting it to the Peer Review as an Entry of its own? I bet it would be picked right away! What you said is far more than what might be expected as a part of a collaborative Entry. In fact, I like it very much.

We used to have a singer in our band who had a very characteristic natural (i.e. uneducated) voice, with an excellent sense of pitch and timbre. She was the local vocal hero very soon after she started, and soon she decided to get singing lessons to, as she said it, 'finetune' her voice. Her first teacher was an elderly lady of the classical variety. She taught her to breathe and to move properly, but she also levelled out any dents and cracks that make a voice individual. After two years of classical training, our singer's voice was no longer of any use for us , as she had that 'belcanto' timbre that sounds so embarrassing when used beyond the classical field. Her overall pitch range had shifted up significantly, and we would have had to transpose most of the arrangements. Thanks God she switched teachers and found another one who focussed on modern singing (jazz and pop) rather than operas. Now her voice is really excellent. She now is able to use the best of both worlds. She can let her voice sound really dark and dirty (without ruining her vocal cords), she can sing up to the highest notes without any stress, just anything you might imagine.

Needless to say that now her guest performances with our band happen only once in a blue moon. She sings for a living, and we're just amateurs who do it for fun.

Jeremy