h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The shcak is generally unimpressive. However, if you want fuel this is where to get it. The normal price is 5cred/unit but all things are negotiable.

*negotiates with the computer*
[EVA] New price confirmed: -500credits/litre. Starting fuel supply... done.
*puts the fuel into a can*
[EVA] Here is your change...
*picks up the 5000 credits that just popped out of the change slot*

Axe, that's coming out of your paycheck. Just use your employee pass and you get free gas anyway. And I'm paying you for being a general pain-in-the-as* which I think you enjoy, so why do you need to swipe my credits on top of it?

Did I say I was swiping it? I was merely testing the computer to see if it's stupid enough to fall for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

Which it is.

*sigh*

Looks like another thing to fix.

*the credits electromagicly end up in Venom's pocket*

*the credits are teleported into the change machine in the shack*

*gets out a screwdriver and sets to work on the machine, being careful not to light a match while he's at it*

*turns off the fuel*

Good idea

*leaves the fuel valve open for a few seconds to drain the last drops out of the machine*

*turns on the ventilator and then lights a match, for no reason*

*shuts off the internal blast doors around the depot* *shimmers, indicating he has been replaced with a holo*

*the match goes out*

Initilising standard safety procedures for flammable materials and gases...

*shimmers*

Right, one screwdriver (*which floats towards Axe's "hand"*).

It'll be ready in a few minutes...

*hits the "reset AI" button on the pump.

I'm sorry about not fixing the Depot, I'll get on it
Thanks for upgrading the pump AI...

*gets out a spanner and tightens a few of the screws at the back of the pump*

That should do it.

*presses a button to restart the fuel supply*

*stops shimmering*

*a ship moored on the external lines explodes*