h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

New, by the author of the future bestsellers: "Lisumunden the Windpipe Eating Monster", "Eros and Thanatos Meet Freud's Tea", and "The Interpretation of Walden's Dreams", a gripping tale... "Calculus: the Friend that Locks me in the Closet and Beats Me Up". (the sequel to the thriller "A log over a log makes a really big DAMN"). Look for it in a secondhand bookstore new you!

Very clever, Fenchurch! I especially like the "log over log" one.

I was just thinking of you as I juggled with the new DDC Abridged 13, and realised how inadequate it is. Dewey is falling apart as an effective classification. The end of the world is nigh! Catalogers of the world unite and class yourselves together!

So how've you been of late? Why's your page take so #$%&ing long to load, nowadays? What're the latest policy developments for the cabinet position I hold but have completely forgotten the name of?

Enlighten me, oh clever, magnanimous and magisterial one!

Thanks. I thought it up while suffering catalepsy during my calc exam. My fav, "T & E Meet Freud's Tea" is going to be a gripping drama starring two packets of sugar substitute and their personal struggles, with a cameo appearance by Salvador Dali's moustache.

I think the definitive end of the Dewey system was when computers came into being... There are far too many "001.08"s around, I think... we shall develop a new system! Revolt! We shall overcome the atrocities, and emerge victorious! Don't worry, Hypoman, the dark, occult arts of knowledge and literacy can and WILL survive!

I've been okay. A bit stressed out, but that's never stopped anything... Finals will be over soon. Then I'll fix the page (I've been planning to for a while now, I know it takes a while to load) and be able to rant and misspell more regularly (because I know it's hard for y'ns to live without )

And you, good sir, are the Minister of Spelling and Grammar (or something along those lines). Policy developments? Err... well... last night I took the mayoral jet out to fly to Italy for some ravioli... and I'm not quite sure that's how 'ravioli' is spelled. What are your thoughts?

I'll pass "ravioli", but why go to Italy when it actually takes less fuel to get to France? I think policy should include some loopholes for regular junkets for the entire cabinet - you're exempt, of course, being the mayor and a leader of renown (and when can I pick up the keys, boss...?)

Cool about the finals: I've got a few friends on several continents that seem to have that problem at the moment. Those of us now beyond such trials can only watch, reminisce, and wish like crazy that our bodies were young enough to allow us to put into practice what our minds now know! We look forward with baited breaths to your triumphant resurgence.

Yeah, computers are part of what has killed Dewey, but more of the problem is the expansion of other subject areas within their subject ranges: medicine? law? history? religions other than the most basic Christianity?

Finally, on a policy note, what does this mean: "because I know it's hard for y'ns to live without"?

I think I have "Calculus: the Friend thaat Locks me in the Closet and Beats Me Up" except "with a Bag of Moist Peat Moss" is added on to the title... I also enjoy "Physics doesn't work anyway, why use it?"

Hope you're enjoying your finals. I'll be in deep appreciation of them in about 11 days. Woo Hoo!

Any cabinet posts left? Preferrably one that doesn't have many duties (if any at all) and can be completed by an impressive slacker?

Frus

Hypo: I think we should just alphabetise. Period. No questions asked. There are enough computerised serch utilities that people can figure it all out.

"Y'ns", pronounced 'yihns', is a quick way to say 'you all'. I.E. hard for you all to live without my mispellings...

Frus: Now there are two of us. All we need is a time machine to travel back to Newton and tell him of the evils he will create. "Hey dude, don't worry, Einstien won't beat down your Law of Cooling. You'd still have a claim to fame that wasn't blaringly obvious in the first place. You don't hafta come up with calculus. Really."

My roommate and I were discussing the exact same thing a bit ago. In fact, we compiled a list of all the people we would like to go back in time to beat up. Let's just say they we're all mathematicians and physicists...

Okay, you can be my official physicist beater upper. . Wherever there's a George Emery Hale, or a Neils Bohr, you will be there. Whenever people are firing rockets not for the personal pleasure of breaking the law, on the contrary, to STUDY them, you will be there. When a young man with a singsongy voice and TI-94756 calculator in his hand decides to show people the program he made which does something you'd never heard of to draw a graph of a tree, YOU WILL BE THERE!! Go, Frustreren... Fly!!

*Frus runs really fast, then jumps - attempting to fly... and falls flat on his face*

Errmmm... riiight...

*dusting himself off*

I think I'll just walk.

*just sits here, feeling a bit tiny...*......hrmmmmmm yyeeesssss..?????

*walks in, looks around, waves, walks out again*

Hi there Fenny Care to update me on your new cabinet postings then?.....oh...and thanx for the article! It will be appearing soon!
shazzPR