h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can confirm that you were spotted in Yorkshire on Saturday night. I don't have any pictures to prove it, but you were reportedly seen throwing a large heavy ball at a triangular arrangement of wooden pins. This is obviously highly strange behaviour, but we are working on the assumption that your actions were influenced by the two suspicious looking individuals who accompanied you and were seen smiling and laughing and also throwing heavy balls, but with curiously differing techniques and results. We are urgently seeking these two for questioning, but they should not be approached. We know that they are armed (two each) and highly dangerous ... or at least midly annoying sometimes.

But the wooden pins were going to attack me if I didn't destroy each battalion which presented itself, weren't they?

Come to think of it, it was just beer in my glass, wasn't it?