h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am letting out my house. My buildings insurance doesn't cover let properties so I need to get more. As I know that our street was flooded in 2000 I asked my neighbors which insurance company covers them, the consensus was that it was 'company A'

Today I rang their call centre

'Just before I do a quote Mr Z can I ask where you heard of us'

'Well I know that our street was flooded in 2000 I asked my neighbours which insurance company covers them, the consensus was that it was you;'

'Ok, personal reccomendation then'.

He asks some questions and gives me a quote,a very reasonable one, one a lot cheaper than any of the other insurance companies. None of the questions are about floods

I am paranoid about insurance not covering me, so am obsessive about making sure I never lie to them. I don't see any point. I couldn't afford to rebuild my house if it was destroyed so I want to make sure that my insurance company would. Or at least pay off my mortgage.

'What's the excess for flooding?'

'£100 - same as it is for anything else'

'I did say we've been flooded?'

"The computer only asks 'was your property flood damaged if the computer says you're in a flood risk area', so I didn't ask you if you'd been flooded.

' Ok I'm telling you now, we've been flooded in 2000, the flood watch group have some photos, they're on the community noticeboard, by the post office, along with an advert for the floodwatch's next jumble sale to raise money for Sandbags'

'The computer says you're not in a flood risk area, so there's no box to type that information into'

'This call is recorded isn't it?'

'Yes it is sir'

'So if there's any debate about what I told you then you can get this call up?'

'Yes why?'

'No reason

I don't know what to say. Computers have taken over?

If it doesn't ask that particular question, it is not valid, no matter what listening to you, a bit of research and common sense says.

It is bizarre indeed.

with everything.

I have to admit I don't have the guts to send the photo of my street under 2 foot of water to their complaints department. I just took the cheap insurance.

Yet another example of the lack of a personal touch

Of course fingers crossed that the street never gets flooded!

Then again, if you didn't get flooded this year, they probably don't class you as high-risk. I can see last month being a benchmark.

We're currently on floodwatch. There's sandbags at the doors.

Sandbags don't work, of course.

Sympathies to all those in rainy/low parts. Hah! And we thought that global warming was going to turn us into the new Loire.

And thank Christ you're insured!

I may be dim; but i've never quite understood sandbags. Most beaches are full of sand, but they still get very wet when the tide comes in...

with the wet stuff Z!!!

zdt

The best way to use sandbags is to prop up a big sheet of wood, such as an old door, to act as a barrier. (Or not even and 'old' door. Better to take a door off its hinges than to get flooded.)

Doesn't stop the water bubbling up from beneath the floorboard - you have to block off ventilation too (remenering to unblock immediately the danger has passed!)

But I don't know what to do when the sewers back up and the floodwater enters your home via the toilet.

I'm not being very reassuring, am I? Been there myself. It's a horrible situation.

Fingers crossed your carpet is still dry.

I thought sandbags acted like sponges.

We didn't get flooded.

There's always next year.