h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Me and my lady friend played competitive Undress the Chain store Manikin today. It was awesome. I'm working up the courage to start a league. Between us we debagged a number of stand alone pairs of legs in Debenhams in such a position that customers to the store were immediately greeted by a cornucopia of non-descript fufu on entering, I untied a pair of skimpy tie-up-at-side pants in Nue (or whatever it is called) and Sophie exposed nipple less breasts in the window of Primark. I haven't had so much fun since I played pretend to be 'special' pool on the under sixteen’s stupid youth club night at the lamp.

You're such a loon. I love it

Brilliant, I shall start training as soon as possible and a final shall be arranged.

Excellent.... Should we set up regional Leagues, and have a champions league final consisting of the top teams from each regional league?
We need to set up a comitey to organise it all...

Perhaps a knock out style tournament. Start off everyone at H&M, moving to BHS 2 competitors down, then Debenhams, and a final at M&S. I may have to discover more department stores.
Winner gets a golden mannequin.

Hmm... how about John Lewis? Harvy nics? Harrods for the final? errr.... can't think of many other stores I'm not good on my knowledge of where women go to practise the dark-art of clothes buying...

You could start at the cheaper shops like Primark, and then work your way up the price levels because you'll need to be more sneaky around expensive shops
primark
topshop
new look
m&s
etc, etc

then the finals could be in London at, like 2legs said, Harrod, or Dolce and Gabbana???

How about male outfitters too?; whats that horrid shop that chavs go to to buy suits when they have to appear in court? I tend to buy all my clothes online or in M&S as it just saves the hastle

I don't know where chavs go to get suits for court cases, because I'm not friends with any chavs and I'm not really that interested in what they wear either Erm.... menswear clothes shops....well, topMAN is a mens clothes shop! err...one minute.... how about NEXT, Austin Read, Republic, Debenhams?

Ahh, maybe it is topman... the one where the director made a comment a few years back about their suits being sold to people who were just about to appear in court

never heard about that.
I go to Topshop sometimes- but only when i'm feeling desperate. it's usually new look or dorothy perkins. But! Topshop and Primark are* good for some thigns and that has to be cheap shoes and bags that look more pricey than they are!

I make life real easy for buying clothes for myslef...
Black short sleeved linen shirts; Savil row online.
Blue cotton long sleeved shirts, landsend.co.uk/
White 'dress' shirts (for work), M&S.
Suits and ties M&S.
Shoes sometimes M&S, somtimes the really expensive shop in town no idea what its called
Knickers figleaves.com or M&S or a couple of other online stores
socks, M&S.
Oh, and some cotton shirts from online at a place called soemthign like the cotton shop.... or cotton traders
I useually manage to buy all my clothes with only one trip a year to an actual shop

i have never shopped for clothes online before. i like looking around at *everything and trying them on! it's so fun!
oh dear, i sound a little bit of a shopping freak i don't *mind clothes shopping, but i prefer shoes- anywhere with shoes you'll never get me out of.

I do sometimes* like going into the shop, but half the time I just get annoyed that they don't have exactly* what I'm looking for Now shoe shopping I have to go to a shop to do, couldn't risk buying shoes online without trying them on first... Same for leather jackets and suits I guess really

leather jackets! i can't wear them, they make me look strange. oh, and I just thought of another shop for the finals- House of Fraser.

I bought my suit from Topman

I think we need a points scheme.

+3 points for a crotch
+2 points for lady boobs
+1 point for man boobs
+1 point for moving the position of extremities into physically impossible positions
+ 2 points for arranging the manikins into sex positions or having simulated sex with the manikins yourself until arrested
and +3 points for each manikin in a carnal grouping over two

I don't know how posh these shops are so I'll be vague

+0 points for shops in which one might encounter scratters, chavs, tegs, kevs, trevs, disco daves or associated scallies

+1 point for shops in which one might encounter discerning shoppers such as 2legs and myself i.e. M&S, House of Fraser etc.

+2 points for posh ass shops and for conspicuous manikins posed in windows or at the tops of escalators

-1 point for walking quietly walking away when spotted by security

-0 points for running away with you knees held together

-1 point for going in but not exposing anything

+1 pretending to be a manikin

+3 for undressing yourself (area points awarded for this also: see above) or causing a scene of such magnitude as to permanently blacken the name of both yourself and the boutique in question.

Any problems with this? If not...


Let the games begin!