h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Live Monkey Brains - Lunch Or Legend - A24828591
Author: swl - U1775547

ahem

This sounds horrible!

Of course, it is easy for us to be horrified - but we live in a culture where we buy meat in packets from the supermarket and don't see any of the business of killing or cutting up the animal.
Still, the story of the live monkey brain does sound like one of those things that is always ascribed to some other tribe or group. It's not done here and now but some other group has done it...

I think your statement 'the brain contains harmful proteins called prions' isn't quite right. The healthy brain doesn't contain prions- they are infective agents which almost always cause death. The wording should probably be 'the brain can contain'. As I understand it, the more closely related the animal being eaten is to the consumer, the greater the chance of catching any infection. So eating monkey brains is a bad idea.

>>> However, live monkey brains have been described in Chinese culture for over a thousand years

Really? Did you find any back-up on that?

Hard to imagine a pleasant dining experience that involves torturing and then eating a still living being which is screaming horrifically, urinating and defecating in fear and pain, bleeding from massive head trauma.

But rather easy to imagine this as a fairy tale, where the perpetrator of the act of culinary cruelty is said to be a member of some other ethnic group.

Ever cooked a live crab or a prawn/shrimp or a lobster? They squeal as they die and turn red.
Any kosher/halaal beast eaten and cooked goes through the same process as it's throats cut and it bleeds to death with screams/defecating/urinating.
No difference to taking the top off a monkeys head and scooping out the bits inside. Yes the stories may well be apocryphal but the intent is the same and possibly the animals actions.

I like snails and I don't think they really like being dropped into boiling water but when pulled out and bathed in a garlic butter herb mixture they are yummy.

Maybe monkey brains are too?

What was that movie set in Vietnam made in the 70's that had that scene it(lopping the top off a monkeys cranium)?

Yes, Keith Miller, and thanks for asking. As a matter of fact, I *do* know the difference between things that get done at the table, things that get done in the kitchen, and things that get done outside. And because I do, it's pretty clear to me that this entry concerns a fairy tale. The entry should make that clear before being accepted into the EG.

Also, I see no evidence that this particular fairy tale has been around a thousand years. About 200 is all I see evidence for. If the entry's author can find no evidence that the fairy tale has been around a thousand years, perhaps this statement can be adjusted somewhat to be more accurate: "However, live monkey brains have been described in Chinese culture for over a thousand years..."

Let me be quite clear, I believe it would be wrong to reject this entry from PR just because it concerns a fairy tale, or even a fairy tale that depends on a certain degree of bigotry or xenophobia. We are building a Guide to Life, the Universe and Everything, after all.

It's a good point HN, maybe it could be headed as *apocryphal* or long standing urban myth.

I do wish I could remember the movie I'm thinking about as that was the first time I'd heard of this 'practice'.

The "thousand year" claim is off - the book referred to (ManTuoLuo Xuan XianHua) has content allegedly from a 16th Century Chinese General who gathered local recipes as he travelled round China. So 500 years, not 1000.

I'll change the text.

I bloody resent the implication that the piece is rooted in bigotry and xenophobia though.

Just reread it again SWL, and if Happy Nerd is reading this then I'm blowed if I can see the bigotry or xenophobia in the article you mention.
An explanation or perhaps a retraction would clear the air somewhat.

I don't think 'fairy tale' is a good descriptive either. If SWL is quoting historical hearsay then apocrypha would be the heading don't you think?

I thought Happy Nerd's point was that the roots of the legend are quite possibly xenophobic. That doesn't mean an entry about it is therefore a product of xenophobia - that's obvious.

Yes, thank you, KB, that was my point exactly.

This post has been removed.

*waves to swl*

Just about to have breakfast so I'll skip reading the text but I'll leave the links to the previous PR threads as this is a resubmission: F7774759?thread=4369023 and F7774759?thread=8281745

with this!

GB

'And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington DC...' – Wadsworth revealing Mrs Peacock's fatal mistake in 'Clue'

I think that the title 'lunch or legend' is definitely a clue that much of what the article contains may be considered apocryphal. I did feel that 'highly illegal in some countries', implies that it is perfectly legal in most countries, and only outlawed in a few.

There were a couple of minor spelling mistakes:
Phillipines – Philippines
chili – chilli

Definitely a noticeable entry.

<BB<

I second HN's point - and I said this in the previous thread a year or so ago - that you would need to somehow insert in the text, that one of the factors that are likely to make this tale apocryphal, is the incredible noise, smell etc that would be coming out of the monkey.

The idea that people would be simply sat around scooping away in those circumstances is highly dubious.

This is an important point of context, and you need to include it somewhere.

sprout

Well, there are no pain sensors in the brain so the monkey wouldn't actually feel it's brain being eaten.

Bit dubious that it wouldn't notice. The early brain surgeons operated on their patients whilst awake to minimise certain risks, and they report people noticing...

And even, there are pain sensors in the skull - I mean for monkey you can read human here, our nervous systems are pretty much the same - how quiet do you think you would be?

sprout

I don't really see that those details are particulary necessary to add to the entry

I know that you have said that this pratise has been attributed to a number of countries.

In the fact or fiction bit when you say the story always happens to have a friend. Perhaps you could also mention that it is a practise that is attributed to 'others' and who the 'others' are has depended on who is telling the tale, there is that underlying element of 'those barbaric foreigners' in the way that the tale has been told.

(not by you swl)

I'm wondering if I should include the details found in the link supplied as it would answer some of the questions being raised -

" The cooks first force the monkeys in the cage to drink rice wine to make them drunk, then pull them out from the cage and bind their limbs ( to prevent them from awakening), then they chop open their skulls with a sharp knife, and then scoop out the white brains, the blood vessels still pulsing, easily visible. They serve the brain as soon as possible, and dig the brains out when they are still warm, eating them with some seasonings, such as pickled ginger, chili pepper, fried peanuts, cilantro and so on. The gourmet chews and swallows the brains and feels great, while the monkey kicks the bucket still drunk!"

I do love the arguing that's always surrounded this piece and whether or not it's guideworthy.

Especially when the guide has an entry which is basically "sometimes the character of The Doctor in Doctor Who wears a hat." (A30777366)

My thoughts.

I'd always assumed this was one of those myths that crusty old Imperialists would bring back from their overseas trips, so I'd throw in as much supporting data as possible.

I'd rework the information from swl's last post as a new "How To" paragraph, and perhaps expand the introduction to make more of the question "Lunch or Legend?"

As always, suggestions are just suggestions, agree or ignore as you see fit.

I think it would be worthwhile including that swl.

I didn't click the link, ok it is being wussy, but I was reluctant to do so as I didn't know how graphic it would be.

I have been cautiously googling and from what I have read this isn't just a tale that has been told by crusty old imperialists, it has been told by all sorts of people and who they have said it was about it has regional flavours , there is a better of phrasing that but as it took forever to word my last post I think I am just going post what popped out my head and down to the keyboard