h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't know if the ages of time have effected my memories, but I'm sure I used to have fantastic bonfire nights. Here's my recipie for success and why it can't be repeated.

1) A big garden or vegetable patch (usually nothing is growing at this time of year).

...hmmm - my shared flat space doesn't seem to afford me that luxury.

2) The recent prunings from the autumn, left over crates from the tip and anything else that you know you don't need.

... of course in those days you could rely on the wood being able to dry out in time - I'm sure it didn't rain as much back then. Oh and even broken crates are charged for now.

3) A clear cold night

... well one out of two isn't bad.

4) Lots of friends - each of whom has to bring their own selection of fireworks.

Let's see - all my friends - nuff said.

5) Food and Drink - Jacket Potatoes with cheese and bacon, hot chocolate and tomato soup.

... Except it's tomato and basil now, and the hot chocolate is low fat chocolate flavoured milk and you've probably invited a vegan over so that's no good.

6) At least one Catherine Wheel that falls off the tree and starts going bezerk around peoples feet.

... Actually - it's quite possible that this still happens.

7) Roller Skates - once the wheels set on fire they made a great game of night time football.

... Not sure that rollerblades work as well.

8) Your Dad's best 1970s polyester suit turned into a Guy.

... I guess we have to look to 80s clothing now and have you ever seen what happens when a shell suit catches on fire!!!

W..