h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Another day, hah! Is life just about mix tapes and wanting a child and wondering whose expectations I might fulfill? Stripping the cliches away, what awaits me? Why do I sound like a sensitive artist?
I am Tom (too late to get into 'tom'/cummings mode, I suppose); my life is continual re-editing, and here is where I would like to be unedited. And where the word "I" is banned, and where bandwidth is not an issue, and where someone can tell me that I should have no fear about installing my ADSL modem, and where someone can tell me how to make a good curry paste, and where smugness is allowed,but only that smugness you see in yourself and not that in your face smugness we see to often, and where a nickel cigar still smells like crap, and where you can tell someone why yes, that dress does make you look fat and no, not every man likes blonde jokes, and where the only good sushi is from the west coast and the only good pizza comes from the east, and where you can never divine too much meaning from a dylan song unless you listen to nothing but dylan, and where a good song is still a good song and you don't care if no one can believe you would actually put that on a mix tape, and where you know you have only met a handful of people that approach mix tapes with the intensity they deserve, and where one of those people was actually a character in 'high fidelity' and you pray john cusack pulls that movie off because this is where you memorized his speech in 'say anything' and would never want to manufacture anything but have probably had to anyways but it was a summer job or you couldn't find anything else or it was the only place that let you play your kboo or favorite local left of the dial stuff and no one mattered that you could listen to bali festival music followed by communication breakdown, and where james brown has the soul but where carla thomas is recognized for not being recognized and where life is no longer a dog eat dog world since you got rid of the milkbone underwear...