h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1. Get into shape and lose the belly.

2. Get my driving licence.

3. Sort out my career.

4. Resolve to make 2005 one of my best ever years by achieving the above

almost the same as mine!

You're going to get a driving licence?

Well maybe not that* bit anyhow

Tell you what, you'd probably do a better job than some of the muppets on the road these days!!

I have driven fairly* recently on a disused airfield mind

Really? Cool! How'd you get on?

...Break & Enter maybe?

Will be around to periodically remind you to book a driving lesson or 2. Maybe you should have an extended stay in Feb & have a few lessons with my driving instructor. I think you'd get on well with him, you'd spend more time talking about music than about what you should be doing on the road. Trust me, I know

Got it up to about 70 MPH and did some pretty 'screatchy' turns on sharp bends

So it was you on Top Gear before Christmas eh 2legs? You apparently beat both Terry Wogan and Richard Whiteley.

I'd have thrashed them no! not thrashed them like that! what a dirty mind you have

Sounds like some sound resolutions.
And knowing you, you'll most likely achieve them. *positive thoughts, positive thoughts*

Yeah, just out of bloody-mindedness probably!

Fords, you realise that if you manage to get into shape and then get a driving licence you will immediatly lose shape again.

They never seem to tell you that driving is hazardous to your girth!

I'd probably end up chucking my bike in the back and heading for the hills though, so it's not all bad

If 2legs is taking up driving, I'm heading for the hills too!

Hey, who needs a car; you saw how I adopt the quickest route down escalators on the underground?

Was that gravity assisted?