h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I really enjoy living where I do now. We have a new build house that isn't too bad as new builds go and the neighbours are generally nice.

However.

There is a small tribe of kids running around I call the Feral Children. Although they're not pulling up plants and chucking eggs at the windows (yet), these bairns are happy to play in the road, come to your door asking the daftest of questions and they even go up to the cars of complete strangers and open the driver's door to talk to them. Sadly, their appearance is of the dirty faced, straggly hair type.

It's really hard not to feel sorry for them but I'm bloody sick and tired of peeping at them when I drive into the cul-de-sac. They're running wild and I'm scared that if I don't knock one of them down one day as they wander round the back of the car as I'm reversing, someone else will

If what you are describing happened where I am I'd have a quick word with the Sargent in charge of the local safer neighbourhoods team - I don't know if safer neighbourhoods teams are just a London initiative or a nationwide thing, but if your local police have anything similar I'd suggest a quiet word.

There are always the community PCs I suppose

Feral kids I can deal with; the thought of hitting one as they scoot across the road in a go kart I can't

The PCSOs are really good with the feral children round here - the shop is a sort of meeting place and although they aren't in the road that much (too many cars in and out all the time) they do get in way a bit. The PCSOs just make themselves known, are very good with them.

See if you can get in touch with yours, and ask them to come round. They'll keep them in line! I'm usually asked if I've got any jobs for them to do. Nah, I've got a kid of my own does 'em for free.

They all go to the local school round here so you never know, a copper may well pay them a visit there

I still can't get over their guts though. When I was younger we had Stranger Danger drummed into us, yet one day when EV's friend visited one of them opened his car door wanting a look inside and came to the front door with him. If I'd done that when I was younger and my parents found out (which they would have done), I'd have been giving a severe talking to...

Stranger danger only counts for us adults when feral children are about!

I agree that Stranger Danger is important for children to know about but it's not really the main danger for children. Ten times as many kids are killed by their parents as are killed by strangers each each year and this has been the same since the mid 1800s. Strange as it may seem the feral kids may be safer on the street (so long as they dodge the cars) than they are at home if parents are struggling with them.

I've been involved with a few nice projects with children including CROP Children Reclaiming Our Parks and a local cinema club. In CROP adults are trained to act a bit like the guardian angels on the New York subway system - but in parks. They make it known that they will be in the park from x o'clock to y o'clock and the children know that it's safe for them to be in the park at that time. Its sort of using up spare parenting capacity that some adults have. Its a sort of, "If I'm going to the park anyway I don't mind keeping an eye on a few of my kids friends at the same time." approach

You know, that's one thing that really bugs me these days - lack of decent parks to play in. Take our area; builders have been on site in this area for at least 10 years now, but out of all the houses they've built there is only a tiny little park consisting of what looks like one of those Little Tykes climbing frames. Now, the powers that be have built a school up here but obviously somewhere nice for children to play, i.e. a park, is obviously out of the question.

You're absolutely right. There is such a thing in England (I don't know about Scotland) called Section 106 of the Town and Country Planning Act which can be sued to improve conditions for local people where there is a big development (new estate, factory or whatever). The developer negotiates what they are willing to put into the pot and the local council negotiates what is needed in the area. I've been talking to our local Play Association to try and make sure they know about this and put in bids for fun areas for children to play in.

That sounds like something that would be needed - if they're building lots of family homes, they need lots of parks for them to play in, within walking distance!

Kids like parks and if it keeps them out of my way all the better

I thought the same regulations that involve the building of parks also involved the building of cheap off-licences and corner shops, that way the little so and sos have access to a regular supply of Buckfast.

We do have a Co-op but it's not very big. That sums it up for the amenities around here

Maybe they'll build some places later, when all the houses are up?

There's no room for anything else! It really is scary how this place has changed; I really can remember when it were all t'fields...*reminisces*

My dad can remember when my house was an orchard.

Nice! Any spare apple trees round your way?

This always reminds me of a sketch - I think it was Smith & Jones...

Two men looking out over some fields. One says to the other, "You know, I can remember when all this was just fields. Then it was factories. Now it's all fields again."

Little bit of politics, ladies and gentlemen, yes indeed.

No, lots of cherry blossom (although never seen a cherry!) and other trees I don't recognise though. I should make an effort really.

Hmm; squeaking personally; i was an extremely Feral Child, mainly because i was trying to escape from my Totally Mad mother, who was definitely trying to murder me. I didn't partticularly like other kids "Your Mom is a mad gipsy!", so i used to take myself off to bits of waste ground, which i called "Fairyland". Climb trees, eat toadstools, pretend to be George in the Famous Five. Examine ants nests close up, discover the connection between nettles, dock leaves & needing a pee!

I think it's awful that kids these days usually can't be "allowed" to go through the "Feral" stage; as an ex teacher of youngsters; i really do feel it's a vital part of kids growing up safely that they learn how to cope with risky things. Unless you climb the tree & discover that branch isn't strong enough, fall off, go home bleating & get bandaged up & told "Well; you'll bloody well know better next time, won't you?"....how are kids going to know what's safe & what isn't?

I got told "Don't talk to strangers, if somebody offers you sweeties, say "No Thank You" & walk (not run) to the nearest adult or place you know; if they follow you THEN , because they are probably a Nasty person, but you can probably run faster." i didn't get told details of what Nasty persons did, but had a fairly clear idea, as kids do!

As to road stuff, i suppose in the 60's there was less traffic; but it was still drummed into us "if you go & play in the street; OK, but remember the bloody cars, stay on the pavement" I've been knocked over by cars as an adult 3 times (!!!!!) but never as a kid, though i did break my wrist when i nicked someones bike & hurtled down the hill to the park & met a tree en route. I got totally no sympathy.

Parks back then (central Birmingham, council estate) were extremely Feral, but there was always The Parkie, who was far more scary than any copper, but was always lurking..."Oy! Off the Witches wheel Now, yer scaring the little 'uns!"

zdt