h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

<> Yep!

Not just him ZSF, that's kids all over but probably just a bit more pronounced with little and harder to overcome.

I think it would be a mistake to think everything he does is down to his condition, but from what I have seen with others, singleminded, bloody mindedness is par for the course. An asset sometimes, but ...........

When is your camping holiday? Anywhere nice? I do hope the weather stays fine.

*waves*

Websailor

Websailor - I wondered whether he was going to want to break things when he got home. He stayed in the car and shouted for a while, came in and went to watch TV. I went in to sit with him in silence. He started to complain about being hungry and after a bit of muttering and started to eat the meal that I had already prepared for him.

So, I think I may have got it as right as I'm currently able.

Where and when are we going camping? In West Sussex (or is it East Sussex?) and next weekend for a week. I too hope the weather stays fine, though not too hot.

If he is on the autistic spectrum asking him to see things from your point of view possibly isn't going to help. He may well have self-esteem issues, so he's going to guess you are thinking of bad things about him (ie 'annoying') but will very likely have no ability at all to think of things from other people's positions.

J is so unable to see things from other people's points of view that he assumes all his knowledge is shared by the person, because that's the only position he can imagine.

Have you had any thoughts about having a speech and language assessment?

He's had a speech and language assessment, Mina. It didn't seem to give any direction as to how to manage and support him.

I've recently found some stuff on http://focusingonsolutions.com/ although this is for general child discipline stuff and not tailored to children with an ASD.

How do you manage with J?

One of the things that I recognise (and forgot before the outing) was the anti-climax that he seems to go through at the end of something enjoyable. It's often ended in tears. I feel I should be able to recognise that it's likely to happen and to plan for it, but I'm not sure how.

I'm surprised it didn't help much! J's was a great help - simply because it taught me what he could and couldn't understand - he's got a single word vocab of a child much much older, but can't understand me telling him to 'tidy his bedroom' so there's no point me getting all cross because he's not done it properly, he genuinely has no idea what I expect of him from those three words.

We make lots of lists - I try never to change plans on him, but that's been a habit of a lifetime anyway as it's never fun disappointing any child. So we have a timetable of jobs that need to be done every day (which has jobs for me too) and each job is broken down in a book, so he knows exactly what is expected of him. He doesn't use the book much, but it means he can't wriggle out of stuff he's expected to do. I try to tell him at the beginning of the day what we'll be doing.

If he starts arguing and whining about something, I add or remove time, so if he's arguing because I want him to go out for a walk with me and the dogs he's told the walk will be only 30 mins. Each time he argues I add five minutes until he's accepting. Same with nice stuff, so his computer time will be whittled away if he keeps on.

Sometimes I do lose it and shout at him, in fact fairly frequently, but otherwise I just tell him I'm not arguing with him, that's the way it is and that's all there is to it, but I try not to use that one too much.

Most of this stuff I did before I knew he was autistic, but breaking down jobs into tiny parts I didn't know to do before the assessment.

ZSF,

I came across a write up on a new book 'Could It Be You' which links all sorts of behavioural difficulties. Look here, as there is another one too, by the same specialist.

http://www.randomhouse.co.uk/catalog/book.htm?command=search&db=main.txt&eqisbndata=0753513390

I wish I could find the review online but it was in a freepaper, but the whole thing made a lot of sense and it just might help you.

Websailor

It does look interesting, Websailor.

Sorry, I've been ill today - ate some nuts which didn't agree with me and have thrown up all day. I only got up a short while ago. Will repond when I'm more together.

Had another bad day with little yesterday. Took us an hour to get home from his theatre school in the car, where it normally only takes 10 minutes. Another tantrum.

I hope by now you are feeling better and looking forward to your holiday. It will be interesting to see how little reacts in different surroundings.

I hope you have a lovely holiday.

Websailor

We've been to the same place several times, Websailor. Sometimes he joins in the activities, sometimes, he can't be bothered. I hope there are some nice children there he can make friends with.

Have a good trip. Has he been looking forward to the holiday? Perhaps excitement has caused his behaviour. Does he get, or show those kind of feelings?

Websailor

I know this is a little on the late side, Websailor , but I'm looking through old stuff - which is quite interesting as it reminds me of some things I've forgotten.

I saw the post about Robin Pauc and the book "Could it be You". I took little to see him for about two years or until he wouldn't do the work any longer. Seems I should have brought him at an earlier age. Now, some years later, he is a lovely caring young man.

I have been reading back too, and was surprised to find that I still agree with myself after all this time, and now with a little more experience in that line

He looks a lovely lad and a credit to you, well done. Will reply to the email soon.

Websailor