h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This article reminded me of my relationship to h2g2
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,176-2528339,00.html

These are the lines which made me understand
'Like many suicidal people, Hines had a plan: if someone noticed his despair, he would stop. “I’m crying softly to myself, waiting, you know, for that… for that angel to come down and tap me on the shoulder and say, ‘Hey, are you okay?’ And that in itself is just a grandiose kind of the psychotic nature of suicidal thought. That’s not how the world works. People don’t have telepathy.”'

I used to come here to be noticed when things were bad, just to be noticed helped more than most of you will ever believe. Some of you were always there, some of you had lives too complicated to be able to be there and thats cool. Some said I have everything all because I had a aprtner and therefore no reason to be down, some tried to cure me by making me accept their thinking. There were lots of reactions.

I'm in remission now, the last 7 years have been very difficult. Its a strange feeling for that to finally lift, maybe its clarity caused by pain?! Its Heaven after 7 years of severe depression, which started in 1999, for it to lift. It may come back, it probably will, but I believe I have the coping skills now to not let it settle so hard and so long.

We shall see.

I alienated many of you, some of you alienated yourselves. Many didn't believe me and thought I was lying for attention. I so, so was not lying.

But I really don't mind.

I have a lot to do now, in real life, out here. Gonna be difficult not being able to walk for more than 100 or so yards, but I shall keep on trying.

Good luck to me and all of you.

What an interesting article about people.

Hi Snaily and hi MV, so nice to see you.

We got a taxi to Croydon today so that we could goto family planning. Walked a little around town and then taxi home. I am shattered and it was very painful, but fun to get out. To think I normally walk there and back as well. We can't afford taxis every week, but I start a new medication today and with physio in about a month, then hopefully this will start to improve.

The lady at family planning said I had never looked so cheerful, she said she worries about me between appointments. I thought that was so sweet, she is very nice, its always nice to go there. Especially today to share my improvement, she was amazed at how much better I was even though physicaly I am much worse. I told here that being in pain for 2 years has made me think and define what I want and although I sank to my lowest this summer, I now know that I have to grab what I can. If that means going to the park in a wheelchair, then sobeit. It seems I made her day with my new attitude, which in turn made me feel better as well. It is so easy to help people, I shall never understand why so many choose to do the opposite.

I shall celebrate what I have from now on, and stop moaning about what I don't have. I may lapse a little, but I intend to keep working on this. To feel sane at last, after 7 years, is immense and undescribable. I am also 100% sure this is not a euphoric episode either, so thats a whew!


MV it certainly was an interesting article, did you read this bit? "The first person I saw jump was in jogging clothes. He’d run out onto the bridge and was laughing on his cellphone. He hung up, took off his sunglasses and jumped in a matter of seconds.” That sounded so shocking.

Also this,
'In the 1970s, he says, somebody did some research and found 28 people who jumped, like Hines, and survived. “They talked to them about it. It turns out, as soon as they hit free fall, they all thought, ‘Oh, God, I don’t want to die.’” '
It made me think that suicidal people tempted to jump should be offered bungee jumps off the bridge, if they then realised that they didn't want to jump and were happy about surviving, then what a lesson. That may come across as trivial, but if it helps...

Yes, I did read the whole thing...the free falling thing was upsetting, Hines candid explanation was sad.

I'm not sure how I feel about school children being exposed to those sort of revelations tho, I have mixed feelings about that. I know that G is very sensitive about those sort of things, and as his mum I'm fiercely protective at times.

HI Kaz...lovely to see you in here againIt seems that my e-mails aren't reaching their destination..so, just in case, i will mail you later on today..in the hope it reachs you!!In the meantime a very Happyand Healthy New Year to both you and Moonglum for 2007.
Oh,and to whoever else is here too!!!

Hi Smurfles, we maybe wheelchair hunting at the weekend. I will be happy that Moonglum can get me around at weekends, but sad that it has got to this. Still looking on the bright side, it will be good to be able to get to the park at weekends again.

Hi MV, sorry if the revelations upset you, it was an article from a Sunday paper, so it didn't seem that bad to me. I still feel everyone should read that last paragraph about how all those who survived regretted their jump. It could teach many people, including kids, that suicide does not have to be the way and I feel that is extremely valuable knowledge indeed.

The Red Cross sometimes lends out wheelchairs. Gothly borrowed one for several months from them.

Thanks for that, we are making initial enquiries as its something we know nothing about. Its a shame because mum has a wheelchair that she won't use, because of hang-ups, they are too far away though to lend it to me. Still its a nice thought to make Moonglum 'mush' me to the park, and hopefully of course this is all temporary.

So was the chair for yours or Gothlys use? I just wondered how you found it, might be asking a bit too much though.

I can't remember the details. I'll have to ask Gothly and get back to you. I think it was just a case of ringing them up and asking, and when one became spare someone popped over and picked it up from them.

Gothly was the pushee, I was the pusher. I didn't have CFS in those days.

They make great shopping trolleys, too. You can just pile stuff onto the person's lap, to the disconcerted looks of shopkeepers.

The downside is that people have trouble understanding that using a wheelchair doesn't always mean your legs don't work. Standing up out of the chair in public can lead to people thinking you don't need the chair, so there's extra pressure to act stereotypically 'disabled' in order to avoid embarrassing or tedious situations.

When I asked how you found it, I meant using the chair, not how to find the Red Cross. I did wonder about that, as I can walk a little way and it would be easier to go up steps by foot. Ah if people can't work out that some of us can only walk a short way, then sod em!

Good on you.

I think times may have changed a bit since then. In recent years, I've found the magic words 'I've got mobility problems' allow me to be taken seriously by the sorts of people inclined to guffaw if I say I'm disabled.