h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

helllooo!
not been around for a long time now, and no longer invincible driver, still very much a scottish researcher though, only now in dunfermline fife rather than glasvegas

Please proceed up that corridor to your left, where you'll find our friendly Weegie Decontamination Unit. Staff in rubber suits carrying hosepipes will be pleased to welcome you back to civilisation.

Leave the Buckfast at the door and collect some consonants from the tray.

will i be met by someone called Ken there?

.....

Aye. D'ye ken Ken ken?

He's moved to Fife. That would be 'Aye. D'ye ken Ken ken, hen'?

Fit like eh, sure ah kens Ken, thers neabdy hereaboots that disnea ken Ken and his wee wifey Morag, and theyve a wee bairn an a'. Ah cannae mind the bairns name, but Moira here will ken it. . . . .

(I live in dundee, did live in Glasgow though, I escaped.)

mini

Shahoorsir Deakie, if I called him hen he might stott me aff the pus, ken?

Thank you, I haven't laughed as much for ages!

SWL, are you my Mum?

Mini, I grew up in Dundee and SWL has spent a fair bit of time there too from what I recall. Those Dundee germs get into your system and never let go, no matter how far you travel!!

I have been here since september, do you think I will be infected? Im from the west coast originally (argyll) I have managed to keep my own accent thus far, but have had a few wee slips into Dundee speak.

mini

I was born on Skye with a Dundonian mother & a Dad from Edinburgh. Moved to Dundee at 12. It doesn't take long for the infection!Have you started 'eh-ing' yet or do you still 'aye'?

a mixture of eh and aye still, but I sometimes say eh anyway. They are different words though, Eh is a question, Aye is an affirmation (at least thats how I use them)

mini

When you ask for a bridie, do you ask for an ingin in an aw?

Im (nearly) vegan, I dont eat bridies. To be honest, my accent is nearly as changeable as the weather, depending on who I have been speaking to, that is how I will speak.

mini

I nearly creased myself the first time I saw a "Wet Pent" sign in Dundee

Or "Tell Ben to come ben. If Ben doesnae come ben, tell Ben I'll be ben tae bring Ben ben"

Aye, that would be a sight to see,

I have a tendancy to go all highland when I have been singing in Gaelic, I have no idea why though,its rather strange.

mini

"will you no come awa here the noo?"

'Awa an pickup yer dowp fae thon cundie, yer breeks'll be barkit' is a phrase still heard frequently in our house! Mostly to the kids, though occasionally to my Hubbie, who as a Norwich lad is completely oblivious!

Ah, me and the wife have the cundies v sivers argument often.

Also clipshears, which she calls forky-tailies. (earwigs)