h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Heeeeeeeeeeer's Johhny!

After a not entirley successful, but not entirley unsuccessful soujourn in Belfast, i will now be re-entereing Scottish society via Auld reekie. Please ammend my location details to reflect my defection to the east

Any good pubs in Edinburgh?

no, they're all non-smoking now

That will be bizarre. I haven't been in a scottish pub since the ban. Here in N.I. there is of course no ban as yet.

I'm frankly worried about smelling other people now Without smoke to dull the senses, farting will be far more noticable

It's the smell from the loos that's bad. And the stale beer.

And Edinburgh women.

Yes, tell me about Edinburgh women

Fur coat, nae knickers.

No! the women!!

After just experiencing long, expensive and difficult, i'm on the lookout for cheap quick and easy now I don't suppose most women in Edinburgh will actually be from Edinburgh will they? Touristville central and all that..

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Being fae Dundee, that was my mothers expression to describe ANY woman from Edinburgh!!! Haven't heard it for years!!!

My wife is from Dundee. Which reminds me of a joke.

3 Guys in a Glasgow bar, talking about old girlfriends.

Guy 1 - I once went out with a Glasgow girl who only had 1 eye.
Guy 2 - I once went out with an Edinburgh girl who only had one leg.

That's nothing, said Guy 3. I once went out with a Dundee girl who only had 1 kid.


How my wife & I often laugh at that one, once my step-son is in bed.

Quite sad though really, cos it's still true!!! I've got a few friends who still live there, who think that Blackpool is the last word in holiday destinations and who look down on me cos I've reached 33 and still not produced!!!!!

Going abroad for Dundonians means going down the Ferry.

Don't you know, ALL Dundonians are FROM the Ferry!!!!!

Unless they live on the Perth Road, that is....

"Live" on the Perth Road

"Work" on the Perth Road maybe

I lived in town of the peh's for a year. I liked it but my overriding memory of the place was that everywhere was uphill. You went to the shops- it was uphill. You came back again, and it was still up hill The place is one big Daliesque creation

Updated and welcome back.