h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is cold, dark and sometimes fireworks and I should throw the naughty kittens out

They are not my kittens, I have tried very hard to keep them out
they were coming round and seemed hungry so we topped up their food outside, it was the only way to get them out the house, rattling a box of biscuits

they invite themselves through windows, through doors. Sketchy cats they are, they didn't settle just looked around exploring as kittens do

yesterday was a filthy evening and firework frenzy I let them stay till it all quietened down then put them out

this morning as soon as the door was opened they were in and haven't left, it gets boring throwing them out all the time. I have been firm but I can't be mean to them and scare them away

They haven't been sketchy at all today, well chilled and simply adorable and I feel a right heel

firstly not my kittens so mean like I am a cat napper

and mean to kittens because it is cold and dark and scary and they don't seem to want to go home

waited till it was quiet and not raining and we carried them to their house, looked like they were going in

kept the doors and windows shut for an hour, no peeping but they are back

if one wasn't so heavily pregnant I could do it but I am worried that she'll give birth outside in the cold and wet and she is nowt but a kitten herself

Kittens having kittens, naughty.

especially if it is her brother who got her that way

kittens had a good night, they settled well, they got up at 5am and went out to toilet. I gave them brekkie and sent them packing

I am going to talk to their owners today to see how they feel and what they want me to do

I have one of the naughty kittens on my lap.

You know when cats paw you affectionatly it is supoosed to be a comfort thing for them reminds them of suckling, this kitten paws and suckles either a back paw or his tail, like a child sucking their thumb, loudly as it happens and he dribbled on my jeans

I have never come across this before

he also is quite smelly I think he has eaten that has 'upset him'