h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hiiiii C!

HEY HEY HEY! I just remembered. I was dropping something off in one of the teachers' mailboxes today, because that's one of the things I do, because I don't have a third-period class, I'm the journalism adviser's helper-thing. So... wow, this story is already too long, and it isn't even very good. Ah, well, better finish what I've started. So! So I'm looking for the right box, and I see my English teacher's box. Her name is Cynthia "Cyndi" Wilson. And you know, I never ever noticed before, but her box says "WILSON C" on it and... er, well I told you it wasn't very good.

Wow, good story KM! There's really a teacher named WILSON C? No joke! Wow!

Erm, actually that story wasn't very go-- no, I'm not going to say it. I've decided to be nice and supportive today. I didn't say it. It was a very nice story. Honestly.

Yeah, my English te...

C!! ARE YOU MY ENGLISH TEACHER IN DISGUISE?!

Eeeee, oh, the unthinkable implications! Nothing serious of course, but a huge discrepancy in... in... illusion...ment... it... oh... rrrr... *faints*

Well, dear Kristina Marie, first off, I must always check from now on to see if someone has posted to my home page! I've checked h2g2 for a week now but never thought of that novel idea!

Anyway, what you may have discovered here is a parallel universe. I was inspired by a pretty horrible English teacher my junior year in high school - she was so bad I thought I should go out and right the wrong by becoming a good teacher. I was nearly there - had all my education courses done and just needed to do student teaching to get my teaching certificate and go out to teach high school English. Since it seemed to me that teenagers had so much angst I intended to use the forum of English discussions of literature and poetry to help them see the big picture

My advisor was so down on teaching high school - it was just baby-sitting, you could NOT make a difference in anyone's life, etc. I bought it and chickened out. Finished up with an English degree, minored in French. Got some formal training on programming and here I am. I'm very happy, and I make a TON more money. But I do feel from time to time like I abandoned a duty - a cosmic assignment.

So I'm glad to hear that I am actually teaching English. Am I any good at it?

Well you're terribly loud.

Loud...

*contemplates*

Well, that's not at all what I was going to try for. Nope, not a bit. Well, thanks for clearing that up.

Er... it's your thirtieth year teaching... so you've got all kinds of staying power... is that more what you were shooting for?

*gets extremely depressed and agitated at the thought of 30 years teaching*

Nope, that wasn't it either. But you should know I no longer care if I shirked my cosmic responsibility or not - thanks to you!