h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Continued bedtime reading of one of the 1000 books here, "Working on Yourself Alone" one of Carol's many books on meditation. Not many pages into it was a bookmark that I think was hers, implying something caused her to stop there. I cannot ask her about why. As a college graduate on the quantitative side of things, if I start a book, I give the author a lot of slack and always (100% of the time) finish it. I am neither a speedy nor voracious reader. I keep a dictionary near by. I no longer trust my assumed connotation from context sufficient to know what the author intended. After Carol's death a definite change came over me in a desire to understand what is being said to me. Before, and noticeable yet, I had a shoulder shrug if I intuited that I was involved in a "conversation" with someone who was more than "2 standard deviations" different from me. We wouldn't be able to communicate. The talent of having empathy happened to me sometime after the morning of January 21, 2016.

I momentarily dropped off, book in hand, but, at 73, I know I can choose to immediately turn off the light or prolong the descent. As my vision focused once more.. "The very process which lies behind your wandering mind can also be a life-saving tool when you get stuck in a long-term meditation or reach an unresolvable point."

Unbidden, a voice, my audible voice: "She has been dead four years. Four years!". It was a conglomeration of accusation, astonishment, and sadness for several things. I pursed my lips (mentally at least .. I don't know) and turned off the light.