h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thats what I currently feel like, I feel dizzy. I went out to an electro goth night called spellbound and ended up confessng my 'obsession' to Andy... he already knew and a bit later on apparently said to my housemate "oh shit, shes trying to nail me". tried, failed, I dunno. Aarrrggg, brain hurts. I was out of my mind on tuesday anyway, definately not compus mentus, I dont remember much of what was said, I got a kiss. Echoes Echoes.I have so many echoes inside me I feel like the elephant man.
For some reason on wednesday I was really happy, more like deluded,I spent most of the day sat on a park drinking milk.In the sunshine. It was nice.
Why do things have to be complicated? Why cant it all be easy and natural, rather than stilted or awkward? why can't I turn around and say; why wont you let me love you? Will you? Is it the age difference?
Its strange, he's older but so vulnerable, probably been hurt more times, and hes not entirely sane. good, that means i know how to deal with him i guess. Sane poeple throw me. sane as in normal, bog standard, average, ignorant. like me from a different perpsective. im boring myself now. going.