h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello Willem.
we spoke a couple of times a while back.
you might remember, my partner lived in cape town and had similar interests to you regarding your country and all it's wonderful wildlife and flora.
I just wanted to let you know i'm thinkin about you in this difficult time
my partner also contracted cancer, last year, in september, and unfortunately it took him in mid December, so he barely had time to get used to the diagnosis, and going from a healthy outdoors fit guy to someone not allowed/or able to leave his bed and finally to be cared for by Hospice in the last week of his life.

it's a horrible disease and not an easy one to 'box off' in your head. it's unfair and seemingly indiscriminate.
i hope that your dad had a peaceful end and he was lucky to have had you all there and know how much you cared.

I was able to get to Cape town in November, and had some nice times with my man, but not for the funeral, so things all still seem a bit 'up in the air' and surreal to me still. the ritual of family coming and going and the actual service and aftermath is a necessary tool to help with the grief process, and having had that with both my parents in the last couple of years, i know the value of it, to not have it for him has made things harder

i'm not sure where you are living but made it to jozi and pretoria,sun city, down to durban, kruger, drackensberg mountain area,and across the country by car and then later in the year by train, on a couple of trips last year and there's a huge part of my heart left there, mooi land, so i will have to go back when i can, i have a lot of friends there.

go well.
look after yourself.

Hello Aye Bee and thanks for passing by!

Yes I took note then when you lost your partner and I found it very, very sad, and you totally have all my sympathy. Also, yes, unfair ... this is something I feel I'm not always 'allowed' to say, but I think there is something truly unfair about someone taken away when s/he still had so much to do in this life! Like your partner, my father was a very active, lively, and apparently healthy person. At 65 he still had much to look forward to, much to accomplish. I feel he's been cheated ... I've been cheated ... my mom's been cheated ... by this cancer. But ultimately, there may be some good reason *why* and I am not bitter at all. I miss him very much though.

The course of my father's cancer was much slower ... he showed first symptoms toward the end of 2008 ... was diagnosed early in 2009 ... made it into early 2010. For much of the time he was actually not doing too badly, and I am grateful for still having had him around for that time, and we did much to finalise things while he was still capable. Only since October last year has it been very hard for him, and for us. I am truly grateful that he didn't linger on for *very long* in the condition he was in the final two weeks.

I fully agree ... the funeral, seeing family and friends, all that ritual ... actually does help with the coping and grieving process. But it's also good that my mom and I are now alone, the family have gone back home, and friends are allowing us some rest and to *privately* mourn and come to terms with what happened.

I'm in the far north of South Africa ... you didn't make it this far. From Pretoria, it's another two and a half hours' drive towards the north. My home town is Pietersburg ... now also called Polokwane. It's a fairly nice region for tourists. They've also built a huge stadium just outside town for the Soccer World Cup that's being held in South Africa this year.

Well thanks again for dropping by! And all the best with your own grief also, and good wishes for your life forward.

Willem

oh there you are!.
yes your dad was very young. my parents were in their 80's and i still also felt they had much left undone, healthy, especially my mother, at her age, should have been still with us...
oh well. like you say maybe there's another reason that we dont yet know about why the 'good ones' go young.

i also miss him terribly, and wonder constantly about my own mortality etc. but it's all part of it. questioning and trying to figure out your place.

i was not that far north no. but i do have good friends in jozi still and keep in regular contact with them, and will be going to stay with them at a point in the nearh-ish future.

i was in pietermaritzburg, there, but not quite ha ha. which is lower between joburg and durban, it's nice enough, lovely views coming down into it by road. i just love the road trips there, there's so much variety and spectacular scenery. even flying over all the remote farms going from Cape town to Jo'burg is an education. the funny circular fields..

anyway, keep well and keep in touch.

v

Hi V! You're fortunate to have had your parents into their eighties ... but yes, it would still have been good to have them for even longer! I am sure that at whatever age, the loss of one's parents is traumatic.

I'll hopefully be travelling around in my country a bit, in the future. I'll write entries and put up photos! South Africa is such a beautiful and interesting place.

So see you around also!

Willem