h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was intending to do my first century ride (100 miles) on 21st December - my first day off work of the holiday but not the missus - so it wouldn't inconvenience her too much if I disappeared off for most of the day.

As it turned out we both caught a real nasty flu bug some time before this and the virus took us both out for well over 2 weeks

So my initial plans of 100 miles, also taking in my favourite (and some new) climbs bit the dust rather sadly. I was still mildly suffering yesterday but today was my last chance before relatives come for New Year and then it's back to w*rk.
I was rather desperate to do something as I'm planning on 200 km Audax event on 28th January and so don't want to (a) lose fitness and (b) miss out on too much training for it. So I took a bit of a risk today to be honest. This is the one thing I seem to have gotten away with - no return of the bug at least.

So a more modest plan was hatched. This was to cycle the 100 miles or so it is from Cardiff to Bristol and back - a much flatter ride (not counting Bristol itself which I had forgotten how hilly it is!).

I set out 5.40 am this morning, intending to be back around 1 pm ish. All went well for a while. Little bit of rain but nothing to write home about but the first portent of doom appeared when the street lighting ended on the A48 between Newport and Chepstow. Only then did I discover that my poweful head torch had run out of battery power. I could have changed it to the new one but this would involved changing it on an open road, in rain and the sun was coming up soon anyway.

The real big doom occurred when I reached the Severn Bridge at Chepstow. I decided to stop and take a photo of the bridge so I could start a photo diary of the ride. So I dismounted, took out my phone from the rear pocket of my cycling jacket and with cold, wet, gloved fingers I fumbled it, made a move to catch it and instead batted the thing over the railing and down to the pits of oblivion below the bridge. I did actually see it land but had to climb over sharp pronged fencing and into a technically illegal area to look for it. Risking life an limb getting over the sharp fence and then the slippery slopes down to the river Severn I went down and then miserably failed to find it anyway So that's a iphone 4S 32GB lost to the ride.

Eventually I soldiered on and rode to England and found my way to Bristol. This was the third portent of doom. I was caught in a major rain storm, coupled with gale force winds. Truly awful cycling conditions. Rain is bad but doable (already drenched anyway) - heavy wind is a proper nightmare. But I was 40 miles from home and stuck with it. Got to Bristol and lost the route from my Garmin edge satnav as it uses OS maps and these aren't too useful in a city centre. The iphone would have been good here never mind. Nevertheless, I got to familiar places in the centre of Bristol, I was supposed to go all the way to Temple Meads railway station but couldn't find it easily and looking at my mileage I had done over 50 miles already so riding home would complete the century. So I got some change and phoned Phil to let her know I'd lost the phone so don't expect the call I'd promised. I then set out back...

4th Portent of doom - I got horribly lost as the Garmin was almost useless now - my first time using it more or less - the learning curve was steep at this point and eventually I worked it out. Not before much waste of time cycling was done in and out of various industrial estates, cycling halfway back to Bristol and such. Finally I got line of sight of the bridge in the distance and decided to head THAT WAY!

The wind hit on the bridge again. Now I know why they close these things in heavy winds. I could only go at a very slow pace as it swirled and it was a battle just to stay on the bike let alone anything else. By this point I'd done about 70 miles and was starting to get really knackered. This is when the wind *really* started to be an issue. First thing I'd managed to forget my bonk* rations so I was really struggling and having gale force winds in my face all the way home from here was a big problem. Not to say massively demoralising. I soon found a garage to stop at and get some biscuit Boost bars and some lucozade sport (to supplement my homemade isotonic drinks - I didn't forget then). This probably saved the ride later on - as I said the wind was gale force in my face for basically the last 20-30 miles and there were many minor uphills which were now not so minor! I had one final dose of doom as the gale force winds were supplemented by about an hour of torrential rain almost the whole way through Newport.
Light at the end of teh tunnel...the Welcome to Cardiff Sign, the arrival at Newport Road industrial estate - near to central Cardiff and finally my familiar commute route home - all done in a much lower hear than I'm sued to.
Sheer bloody mindedness and not giving in eventually got me home.

Still, at least I didn't get a puncture


All done, first century under the belt - never again will I do that in such terrible weather conditions. Combination of lacking experience and desperation to go out at just about any cost. Also, face centre of bridge next I take my phone out of my pocket.

Now I just need to heal - body is in big pain, that bit is worth it though

(PS, I can see the funny side of how I lost my phone - just bloody ludicrous)




* Bonking is how cycling aficionados, slightly inappropriately describe the same condition as hitting the wall in running. You really don't want to bonk so you take energy drinks and high energy, quick release foods with you. Not an ideal thing to forget.

that's terrifying! On the plus side, if you can do one hundred miles in those conditions, on a good day it will be a breeze!

Oh indeed

Chapeau!

Merci

Now by tomorrow I should find out if the insurance on my phone is going to pay out...

I was looking at whether things such as this get payed out for by googling some appropriate words the other day and found this http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/iv-drip/top-ten-weirdest-mobile-phone-insurance-claims-8224378.html

I'm fairly sure dropping my iphone off the side of the Severn Bridge makes it into the top 5 there.

And they're going to pay out!!!


Yay

Slightly amazed but - well too right, it was an accident after all.
And it's still costing me £100 excess.