h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes! Somewhere in the post nuclear dawn, or an alternate time, Port Landfill exists. Built on an old landfill, using the methane gas for energy, this flourishing port trades with distant lands, and with the inland villages.

The 'Restaurant at the End of the Cul-de Sac' lies at the end of Gasworks close, off Gasworks lane. The last house in a brick-built terrace, its large, bright windows have grimy net curtains and permanent streaming condensation. A neon sign flashes intermittently as it shorts out in the damp rain. At the 'Restaurant at the End of the Cul-de-Sac', you can get anything you want (so long as its fried) and everything comes with baked beans (salvaged from the nuclear food dump under the hill). Here is 'e-griff', his lovely wife Alice, and his children 'wee-Griff' and 'Alice too'. Occasionally, groups of people arrive, sing a chant ('you can get anything you want.....) and run off tittering. e-griff is always annoyed by this as its his restaurant.

the lighted windows are seen from the sea, often prompting unwary sailors to ground on 'Outflow Point' (where discharges from the drainage of the landfill flow) rather than arrive in the harbour. Those that do arrive safely end up in 'The Wharf' a rough sailor's bar. From here, they can stagger up the footpath to the 'Restaurant at the End of the Cul-de Sac' and dine in some style.

the children play at 'Leach Beach', where multi-coloured streams run into the sea, some hissing as they reach it. At the north end of the beach, the children play with ancient medical waste - stained bandages and dressings are perfect decoration. Used syringes are darts - what a time they have!

And - Lookout! Bay - so called because you have to.

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