h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well well well this article concerns the stigma atteached to Caravan and Trailer parks everywhere not just Australia (although that is the focus).

Please feed me back if you feel so inclined.
http://www.h2g2.com/A474824

Love,
Stew

G'day Stew,

My first comment is that I enjoyed reading your piece, it took me through the topic and explained it pretty well.
However, first person entries are not generally well-received by the Editors. In this case the personal view helps it flow and adds style, and to remove it would gut the story - but I suggest you keep a copy of what's there and try again in a more "objective" style, otherwise I think you'll have problems.
One last comment - you don't define GST for a non-Aussie audience (sales tax, right? ), or explain how it impacts trailer parks.
Just be thankful Victoria doesn't have tornadoes!

GVI

Stew, I concur with GVI's comments. For an article to be accepted into the Edited Guide it should be written in the 'third person'. If you want to include opinion you must quote or attribute it to someone. There are many ways to do this - here's a couple of suggestions you may want to take on board. "It has been suggested..." - "Many locals believe..." etc

GVI, while Victoria may not have tornadoes, the flapping wings of the enormous flies do generate plenty of wind. Australia's recently-introduced GST (Goods and Service Tax) replaced sales tax. It is similar to Britain's VAT (Value Added Tax). The Aussies stole the concept from New Zealand - where it was introduced in 1984

Thanks guys for reading my thingy0 and writing the comments.
I was new to the whole thing when I posted that up and didn't really know what was happening. I will take it away and try and change it to third person and define GST and all that. I also got told I should make reference to tornado magnets- hrmm It was originally written as an investigative essay or somthing for school.

I didn't actually think anybody would read it.

Thanks again,
Stew

I sadly have to agree with the other comments here. So far it is still in the third person, and hence not hugely suitable *as is* for the guide - perhaps it should be caefully and delicately placed in the writing workshop until he/she finishes doing this?

Consider yourself seconded, Lucinda
GVI

Editorial Note: This Conversation has been moved to the new 'Flea Market' Forum.

This is where we move any Peer Review, Writing Workshop or Alternative Writing Workshop Conversations where the original author has *not* posted to h2g2 for three months. This prevents the active Review Forums from clogging up with dormant entries, but in the Flea Market they can be picked up by others and polished off.