h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... or ProvHerbs?

If you're having one with your tea, you could use Hebrews!

And for the less than legal, there's always Isaiah! (I'm sorry!)

just lick the edges a bit

that should do the trick

An recently discovered in a ruined 1st century church on apiece of faded parchment the lost and forgotten 11th commandment;

"thou shalt not rip pages out of my book to use for skinning up - yer b******s"

Like the Revelations idea, sky falling and burning... bloody hot-rocks. How about Adam and Eve for the munchies (Or Last Supper). Also, Frankincense was taken from a 'certain tree' and 'burned to give off a pleasant aroma'. No wonder the three wise men arrived late, claiming to be seers of the future.

...and giggling uncontrallably about the really, really funny colour of the manger whilst searching around for a extra large pack of pickled onion flavour "Monster Munch"