h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.h2g2.com/A445475

It's what I do best!
Havent been caught yet.

ok...

You should probably put this as a new entry (try 'tell h2g2') rather than as your home spaceentry - your home space entry is supposed to be about you - not part of the edited guide...

You need to get rid of the first person stuff - guide entries are meant to be third person. Also, talking about specific stores is not likely to be good - this is a worldwide guide - info about specific stores might be better to put in an entry on the town involved.

You should probably make it clear that it's illegal... Oh, and maybe give some of the reasons that people say it is a bad thing to do (off the top of my head, reducing profits of the store means that the artist involved doesn't get a fair reward for his work, and that the pensioners who rely on the income from their shares in the company die of cold in the winter. Not great reasons, but...)

As a final thing, better to use "shoplifting" than "wacking" - hard to get used to for non-lifters (like me!)

That was very helpful, Lucinda.
I'm working on a short guide to Calcutta next, and once I put it up, i'd appreciate if you could give me your inputs

Glad to be of service - but I know even less about Calcutta than I do on 'lifting

At the risk of being offensive, what exactly ARE you an authority on? (oh wait, i've been to your page, and there's loads of things you're an authority on. so nevermind)
By the way, how do i make one of those nifty fishies?

> < >
without the spaces


I've never been a fan of authority...

I rule!
(acutally, you rule for pointing it out, but nevermind)
I don't suppose it works the other way 'round, does it?

(how do i just KNOW this isn't going to work?)
Annnnnyway (That's what i hate about the net, i can't emphasize on those parts of the word that i want to. In other words, phoetically, it sucks) i'm not exactly what you might call a big fan of authority myself, but I was at one point of time, rather authoritative on Calvinh and Hobbes
Still am, actually.
(in case you havent noticed, this is me trying my best to rescue a sinking conversation)

If you want a chatty conversation, you shouldn't do it under the peer review page - this place gets crouded and they need all the space they can. I've started one up on your own page - see http://www.h2g2.com/F54865?thread=80738&post=633548. Just promise not to thank me for all the fish and say goodbye..... {groans}

So far after following various links, I've yet to find where the entry is on Shoplifting. I have practical experience in the other direction having worked both store security and Federal law enforcement and have never seen a shoplifter I not only couln't spot, but also knew WHAT they were going to lift. So...please put up a correct link and I'd love to see what you've written thus far and offer what practical advice I can.
~§~

It was on the guy's homepage (uh, space) - but he seems to have replaced that material now with "Who the heck is kilroy?". Shame - it had the potential to be a good entry.

i thought it would stay in the guide entry bit
(im new at this ok, cut me some slack)
i'll add it again in a few minutes

http://www.h2g2.com/A449732

there you go
tell me what you think

Okay, firstly, avoid writing in the first person tense as in "I, me, my, etc..." All articles intended for the Guide have to be written in the third person narrative. I'm printing it out so I can look deeper into it. In the meantime do the rewrite and get rid of the first person stuff. Once that's completed we'll go on to other stuff if I find any. Once that's completed, either I myself or another Scout I'll notify will put it up for review to the Sub's and it'll be made a permanent entry from there. Sound good?
~§~

sound good
will have the new and improved version real soon.

This converting from first person is kind of hard, specially when i'm giving advice.
And it comes as a real shock to me, becuase I thought my english was great, and now Im finding what I've written awkward. Very strange.
Okay, judge for yourself.
here's the first person version, followed by the third person version.
I think you will see my problem.
And if it isn't asking too much, could you perhaps help me with converting it to third person?

First person:
Methods:
The most popular method is to stuff the book/CD down your shirt (not recommended for people who don't tuck in their shirts) and to put music tapes in your pockets.
Other popular but not as widely used methods include:
Jamming the loot down your jeans, but this leads to problems like the book/CD/tape slipping down the legs of your jeans and falling out (I'm not making this up, I've seen it happen).
Wear loose shoes and baggy jeans. Pretend you have to tie your shoelace, and you can slip in a tape or a small book into your shoe and walk off casually.

It's generally easier to wack stuff when you're in a small group, because your friends can distract the guy or can act as a human wall.


Third person:
Methods:
The most popular method is to stuff the book/CD down the shirt (not recommended for people who don't tuck in their shirts) and to put music tapes in the front pockets.
Other popular but not as widely used methods include:
Jamming the loot down the jeans, but this leads to problems like the book/CD/tape slipping down the legs of the jeans and falling out
Wearing loose shoes and baggy jeans, and pretend to have to tie the shoelace, and slipping in a tape or a small book into your shoe and walk off casually.


I guess you get my problem
um..help!
(sheesh! And i thought i was soooo good)

I think you're allowed to say "you" - just not "I" or "we"...

Firstly - Correct, just eliminate "I, me, my, we, ours" I think they're called personal pronouns if I'm not mistaken. Ah well, makes no never-mind what they're called, the Subeditors just don't want them in there. Sorry about the mix up, I should have explained it better, my bad on that. :~\ Actually your second version you wrote there sounded pretty good to me.

Secondly - An additional note, after giving it another read-through I noticed that you kept using the slang words for shoplifting, while listing them in the beginning was a great idea, I would skip from using them throughout the article and just go with shoplifting as the general term used.

Thirdly - You mention several specific shops in India, with a little editing those examples can easily be translated into applying world-wide.

F'rinstance - Crossword in Bombay has no cameras. They have a few guards who are easily avoided. There is a small annex in the kids section which is hidden from view, but they've installed some mirrors there so now it's become kind of risky. You can walk into the bathroom with 2 or 3 tapes/books, slip one into your pocket and come out with the rest without anyone suspecting a thing.

Rewrite - First check to see if the store has any cameras, guards are no problem, they're usually easily avoided. Always avoid stores with cameras though, if there is a VCR attached to it the guards don't have to see you shoplifting to bust you if they know your face and/or they can always use it against you at a later time. If the place does have cameras, look for small annexes without mirrors where you can duck out of the direct line of sight to hide your loot on yourself. Another way is to walk into their bathroom with several tapes/books, slip one into your pocket and come out with the rest of them visible without anyone suspecting a thing.

Lastly - After you've written your article, go back through it and check the guide for countries, cities or other things you've mentioned. If they're in the guide (Like Bombay), add a link in your article, this makes it easier for those who want more info/background material.

That's some great advice, shadow.
Muchos Gracias
(or as they say in my land, shukria)

No problemo, let me know when you've completed the revisions and I'll come back and give it another look-see.
~S~

Editorial Note: This Conversation has been moved to the Peer Review Sin Bin because there's another thread in Peer Review on the same topic.