h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Every year we pretend like it will never get here, and every year it does. Come Labor Day, on the first weekend in September, we have one giant party and everybody in South Florida heads to Key West for the weekend. After that, it's dullsville until Fantasy Fest at Halloween.

Now, one would think that two whole placid, peaceful months without visitors in a tourist town would be heaven. And in many ways, it is. There's no walking backward while slow moving tourists move in waves of four or more across the sidewalk you have to use to get to work, and there are far fewer silly questions like, "Does the sun set only once a day?"

But the truth is, it's a tourist town, and most people work in bars, restaurants, and guest houses. So come September, we laminate four twenty dollar bills, and pass them back and forth depending on the hours we work. Early workers get them first as tips in room service, and they start us off with early rounds (it's dark under the house, you know)and the early bartenders use them for a shifty after work, then they are passed to the princess happy hour bartenders, who then turn them over to the dancers late, and the dancers show up with them for early/late breakfast, and the cycle starts again.

Key Westers refer to this as "Sister Season", since you know every one in town, and the possibility of having sex is nil to incestuous.

Of course, with no party-going visitors, we have to take up the party slack. The pressures of Lee Press-on Smiles relax a little, and some of the folks who never cut loose, cut loose. Gossip abounds. And right in the middle of the boredom come the tropical storms.

Ah, Summertime in Key West. The visitors who know come now, and find out what it's really like to live on a beautiful tropical island in a small town where everyone knows your name. It's either Hell, or Heaven, depending on how badly you behaved last night. The important thing is to take turns being the town drunk!