h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.h2g2.com/A440993

Come on be brutal... How's my first attempt???

Jim, LOF

use less '...'s

The only way to be fair about this is to be honest, so here goes. This really isn't Guide material. It consists largely of opinion and personal experience, and carries a distinct male bias. Balance is essential for a Guide article. The Guide is looking for fact over opinion, and observation over experience, although your personal experiences may help you go into greater detail on certain subjects.

One of the nice things about H2G2 is that you can write anything you want, so don't despair. But I wouldn't count on getting this one into the Edited Guide, either.

I think my learned friend has hit the nail on the head; but, to give it another whack, this Entry strikes me as being more like a description of Adrian Mole than most of the male humans I know; and, as a male human, myself, I find that I am not all that keen on this particular apology for my existence.

JTG

Sorry if that seems a bit petulant, discouraging, and middle-aged.

JTG

Fair comments all round, which is precisely what I wanted.

Ta,

Jim.

Pardon me for asking this... But doesn't that just relegate the guide to somewhat of a mere encyclopedia with more anecdotes than usual? This could just be my opinion (and as a new member probably not worth much (and this is in no way a repost from the critique)), but isn't that somewhat contrary to the ideals behind the original guide? By that I mean the actual series... I mean if this is actually meant to be a guide to the Planet Earth as opposed to a site to amuse and while away the wee hours (although everyone's opinion of what will amuse is different...

Jim.

P.S. Personally I think a change of title to "Sexual Ineptitude in the Young Adult Male and How to Avoid it", any opinions... It's just I rather liked it... Sorry that was quite literally the first phrase that jumped into my head...

Great... So I've pi**ed off a Scout, an Ace and Sub-Editor in one fell swoop... Got to be a good move that one...

Ahh well...

And I'm afraid that '...''s are a quintessential part of my being... They aid the explanation of a passage throught the demonstration of pauses for thought thus demonstrating points of development...

I wouldn't worry so much about pi**ing us off. We're just nobodys like yourself who have been around for a while.

As for the orginal guide, when this was mostly fields, we tried to write in the style of DNA, and what we ended up with was cr*p. I think DNA wants this to go the way the original publishers of the Guide tried to go... being actually useful and informative. It can wait to be spurious and contradictory until after it has to move from planet to planet.

Fair enough...

*remembers first attempts at Guide entries written in pesudo DNA style...*
*cringes*
Eeeeeugh...

Yeah CS, it sure was. And is. Hell, have you read some of the original entries by the "h2g2 Writing Team"? Such as "Ghosts" (I think). They were AWFUL. But it's all going well now...

Oh, and Jim. You obviously put a lot of effort into your entry, but as some of the others have pointed out, as it stands it's very unlikely to be put in the edited guide. While it's very entertaining, it is more of a personal viewpoint than a "guide" as such. Please check out http://www.h2g2.com/Writing-Guidelines if you haven't already.

I think what it comes down to is that The Guide in the stories was a factual and (confusingly) wholly innacurate guide to everything in a fictional and hilarious universe. This, the Earth Edition, is just for Earth, and is supposed to be the real life incarnation of the Guide, and to be used in real life situations (as well as for entertainment). This doesn't mean it can't be entertaining (far from it!), but light entertainment isn't its' emphasis as an information resource...

Oh, I'm ranting. Time to stop, methinks.

I am in fact two separate entities on h2g2; I was one of the original researchers and yes, I did my fair share of DNA emulation.

I've hidden those ones.

Hi Jim. What me learned mates said pretty much sums things up in a way that I would probably mess up trying to imitate; but here I am, anyway... just to show how un-pissed-off I am.

I critiqued your work rather brusquely, which was unkind of me. There's nothing wrong with taking a quirky slant to the way you look at life, as long as you are able to establish a plausible rationale for it. Also, you have to bear in mind that, although there are (almost) no taboo subjects, the public we are writing for includes children, nuns (possibly), and people who have just come out of comas (just possibly). So, in a nut shell, the challenge we face is to be able to present a viewpoint in a way that convinces our readers that it represents some aspect of real life and doesn't offend people; that's not censorship, just good manners. Beyond that, the sky's the limit.

JTG

Personally, I liked it! Maybe a bit too much of the sex and not enough of the male for the title to be justified. Probably too risque to get accepted into the Guide proper, but if anyone types 'sex' into the 'search' box (and I'm sure plenty of those just'passing-through will) and your entry comes up as a result, I'm sure they'll be pleased.

Ta for that... I really do appreciate it... And I think that you're probably right on the inappropriate title front and that that should be dealt with... Maybbe I'll see you in Bristol in a years time... Congrats on the A-Levels... Any hints on writing the old personal statement?

Jamie.

For all the reasons above
(ooh - I like saying that - I get to summarise pages of waffle in a single sentence)
This thread will be moved to the writing workshop. Here it will languish, and likely be totally overlooked by everyone else there, and slowly it will drop down the list, until eventually we evolve into pure energy and transcend the physical dimension. At which point nobody will have to apologise for being male because we'll be too bust having spiritual sex with female energy.

Do keep writing though - and if you do manage to fix up your entry to be balanced, impersonal, informative, and factual - then post here and let us know!

Coming in late on this one - my guess is that you will look at this article in a few weeks time and make radical changes - I know I usually do after I've written anything. One of the problems with any writing is that things that might be hilarious when spoken lose the edge quite a bit when written down. (and vice versa!) You could always try reading it out loud to yourself sober then try it with a few bevvies inside and see how it sounds. Or record it then play it back!

Editorial Note: This Conversation has been moved to the new 'Flea Market' Forum.

This is where we move any Peer Review, Writing Workshop or Alternative Writing Workshop Conversations where the original author has *not* posted to h2g2 for three months. This prevents the active Review Forums from clogging up with dormant entries, but in the Flea Market they can be picked up by others and polished off.