h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Your speach gave me a headache!!!!!! Normally, your first reply would be from one of those litte ACEs or whatever, but i got here first, so i say "Welcome!" Please wipe your feet and remember to leave your sanity in the cloakroom, you wont need it here...

Whats a little headache? You obviously have never experienced the the pain from drinking what ever it is that the toothpick drives you to drink. My word, one of them and you will be a new man (yes, even you miss [points to the woman looking quite taken by all this]).

The cloak room open now? [mumbles some profanity about the "stupid cloakroom" then walks over to drop off the little sanity he collected on the way in]. Oh and yes, thankyou for reminding us all to wipe our feet. No one like dirty floors, except of course for ants, they rather enjoy the exersize from weaving around and about all the... dirt. But we are greater than ants (no offence) we like not of dirt on our floors.