h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My school won two prestigous places this summer in some magazine of high standing (Everyone here refers to the figures but no on can remember the name of the publication). We made the Top Ten list of party schools nationwide (measured in alcohol {by volume?} anually, I believe). Of course this also put us on a list for density of alcoholics--- ugh--- Our other crowning achievement is our density of "Hottest Women". Isn't that special..... Gives me a warm buttery feeling...mmm .. . It also makes me wonder if there's some strange correlation between the two figures... Maybe it is a hard life being in a pronounced group of the "Hottest" women in the nation... That sounds like a pretty big pedestal on which to be placed... Hell, I know that somewhere in this broken southland there is a pronounced trend for women to drink as a way of life.. I see what goes on in other people's homesteads.... Maybe one comes as a product of the other. As a male myself, I can see how it could be depressing (or at least confusing) to be constantly surrounded (and bombarded?) by "hot" women..I know it always kind of puts me ill-at-ease...
I think the funniest thing about this figure (being an observant member of the student body) is that in my time here, I have not heard any reference to the party-life-subculture or any substances at all, for that matter, be they alcohol, marijuana (renowned studying companions elsewhere) or any others (I know they're heavy in this town {I see what goes on in these streets after dark}). It's so bizarre... at this Southern METHODIST university... I see only christians and campaigns for salvation. Never is there any talk of the subversive....I wonder what that means.....