h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~comes barging in~

Oh sorry GB, didn't realise you were in the bath.

~removes one of the schoolgirl uniforms and replaces it with the slave girl outfit from the masked ball~

Shall I jump in with you to save time?

~gets in the bath, runs a bit more hot water and adds more bath oil~

* A balding, sweaty, greasy man pushes open the door staring inside seeing two very attractive females dressed out like one of the better male fantasies... *

Cor Blimey !!!

Is that a canoe in my pants or am I just well furnished in the downstairs department !!!

Er....sorry, but we are here for a very special man....would you mind leaving?
*covering breasts*

Thanks for covering me GB.
~covers GB's breasts~
Now we're both covered.

* Even though his eyes jut out alarmingly at right angles, he gets an eyeful because they are by nature almost out on stalks... *

Don't worry, I'm a trained professional...

So I know how to handle the produce...

Especially melons !!!

* He drools & singgers... *

~throws an empty Champagne bottle at him~

Go away!

~lets go of Mina's breasts and throws a full champagne bottle at him!~

Not a full one!
That'll explode!
~covers herself with GB's hands again~

*jumps out of the bath, grabs towel, kicks Mad Gerald out of the room, jumps back into bath*
*places hands on Mina's breasts again....

* In Gerald's mind these activities have coalessed to meaning they are just playing hard to get... *

Aw... Come now ladies, You know you want a little Mad Gerald's 'special services'...

How about we start with 'creepy crawley'...

* He moves closer to G.B making suggestive movements with his tongue... *

~stands up and punches MG~

Keep away from my friend!

*kicks MG on the sins*
Next time it'll be somewhere else!

* MG pleads from the other side of the door... *

Well, how about a free introductory package where I do two for the price of one !!!

You surely haven't done the 'slimy toad' before !!!

I'm sure I can lay my hands on some green food colouring and custard at this hour !!!

* A buzzing noise is heard... *

...and you won't have to wait around neither...

~glad the door is shut and locked~

You know GB, I'm amazed at the riff-raff that gets in here.

Yes, me too, I wonder where Lord M.K* is???
Now, where were we?

I wonder too.

I think I was just about to scrub your back for you honey.

*hands Mina the loofah and body wash*

* MG sinks to his knees and pleads... *

Alright, what about 'Jelly Jam', the 'Sticky Date' or the old english favourite 'toad in the hole'...

* He does however perk up in more ways than one when he finds out the keyhole gives an excellent vantage point... *

BANANARAMA !!!

*stuffs the keyhole up with cotton wool*

* MG sinks to his knees and starts sobbing big puppy dog tears... *

* He has tried to learn the ropes of being a Gigolo, but how is one suppose to get the practice when your not a bona fide 'shagmaster'... *

* He mutters childishly... *

Not Fair !!!