h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* When the day comes to an end there is nothing better than sitting back in the large porcelian bath and floating away as the aromatic oils work their way into your pores... *

* M.K enters sweaty from a round of golf and starts to run the bath... *

* He then searches around the bathroom cabinet for his yellow rubber ducky... *

* He settles down amongst the bubbles in the water and relaxes completely... *

Lord M.K*

* M.K re-enters and has a quick shower to freshen up for later... *

Lord M.K*

*Enters and freshens up concentrating on the mouth region*

* Thankfully, M.K always likes a quick shower or that could have been embarrassing... *

Lord M.K*

I'm sorry I assumed a quick shower would be less then 36 mins

*pops in for a quick freshen up, uses the most expensive shampoo in the room*

* M.K ambles in & wonders where all the shampoo is gone... *

* He smells the unmistakeable smell of petunia in the air & sighs... *

* He then frantically rifles through the cupboards looking for some soothing lotion... *

Lord M.K*

*Wanders in all sleepy-eyed. Fails to notice the Lord. Takes a shower using more of the most expensive shampoo, which she had hidden under a stack of towels*

* Lost in thought M.K continues to search... *

* Until he inadvertenly knocks over a pefume bottle on the sink cabinet... *

* CRASH !!! *

Lord M.K*

*startled at the sound of the crash, looks out of the shower to see the Lord all chafed up and a broken bottle of perfume on the floor. Finishes rinsing with the most expensive detangler, wraps up in fluffly robe and steps out*

My Lord, whatever happened to you? I must dry my hair properly or it's a mess the rest of the day, but when I'm done, I have some nice French lotion I can rub on you.

* M.K looks up startled to see the lovely figure of Petunia loom into view... *

Ah... Well...

I could use some help with these rope marks on my back... *

* He unbuttons his shirt to show... *

Lord M.K*

Oh you poor dear. Why don't you go lie down, and I'll meet you in a bit.

Oh...

Lord M.K*

*enters to do hair*
*5 hours later finally emerges*

LOL!

- After hours of looking, the young Sir finally finds the toilet... -

Thank God !!!

- Sir Douglas runs into the bathroom & sobs uncontrollably into the basin, heartbroken & crestfallen... -

*Enters, cleans teeth and leaves again*