h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* The carpark is one of the few concessions made to modern times on the entire estate. Parked here are a number of fine vehicles both vintage and sporty. In a token measure of how rich some people are, the keys are still in the ignition...*

*Kes sniffs the fresh air, and wanders over to his vehicle (1951 Riley RMF Drophead - only 50 built). He is pleased to see that his bags have been removed, and the car polished. He takes a turn through the gardens ...*

*A minivan arrives, disgorging several boiler-suited men with toolkits. They rush indoors.

*A truck arrives, with more men, and carrying a brand new spa bath. It is carried upstairs. The drivers eats his lunch, and smokes a few cigarettes.

*The men emerge, carrying a badly damaged spa bath, items of underwear hanging from the taps, chocolate smeared on the sides, and with pieces of four-poster bed still attached to the shower curtain. Their efforts to load it onto the truck are hampered by their constant outbursts of uncontrollable laughter.

*The tumult and the shouting dies, the captains and the kings depart .... Peace returns to the car park.*

(the Jester "borrows" one of the expensive cars with the keys left in the ignition)

3

JOTD: Blood is thicker than water and much tastier

(Returns the car)

Ooops. Didn't see that tree.

3

JOTD: Blood is thicker than water and much tastier

*Bob and allot of other people dressed in milatery uniform get In to their respective veacals and drive off. Only to come back harlf an hour later in taxies.*

*looks out of the bedroom window to see her gorgeous little convertible waiting patiently for her to take it out for a ride*

*all the gests wke up in the morning to find every single car has been clamped and hve all got ordits to be twone away. In all the confusion Bob is looking verry carlm safe in the knoladge that his bike is in a seclooded beach about an houers walk away*
You think thats bad emagin how the poor horses feel.
*shure enough when people check the stabels the horses have all had thier legs clamped with a large notice saying "ileagal parking will not be tolerated" hung round thir necks*

*The sound of the approaching car is louder; it can be seen making its way up the drive. Kes stares at it*

Ye gods! Just my luck. Time to lay low for a while.

*He runs off through the grounds.*

*The 1951 Riley RMF Drophead (only 50 ever built) pulls into the carpark, selecting a space close to the Manor door. A passing squirrel tries to calculate the odds against seeing two of those cars (and the same maroon colour, at that) in the same carpark, but gives up and runs across the lawn.*

*The driver seems familiar. He runs up the steps as fast as he can, and into Reception*

* A very common-looking gold Jaguar pulls up.

The doors remain closed. The windows remain closed.

The motor is still running.

* What terrible suspense...

* An elegant driver emerges... he opens a door.

* A beautiful young woman emerges, she hardly looks at the driver.
She is wearing a beautiful white silk dress, straight from Paris...
very high heels, a lovely, very expensive silk scarf thrown over a
shoulder. She walks in beauty. And a well chosen cloud of perfume.

* Walks towards the Manor, the driver faints behind her, but she would not ever notice that sort of thing... a common mortal, after all...

* Lapsing into esperanto, as usual...

* The engine had been running too...

* M.K wanders out with a jar of vaseline to the cleaner Sally's old mustang... *

* After opening the car door he looks bemused as he has to rub some of it down the shaft of the gearstick... *

* He looks around to see if there is anyone who has had more experience with this kind of sticky situation... *

Lord M.K*

*clatter of high heels
Why, Lord M.K*!
Whatever are you doing?

* M.K suddenly feels a little self conscious about his actions for some reason... *

Oh...

Ah...

Sally, you know... well...

It's gone all hard...

Ummm... You know...

Lord M.K*

Sir, would you like me to grease your gearstick for you?

*wanders in after spending a week getting... umm... excited over maths books*

My gearstick is sticking a bit

* M.K gives Joe a nod & a wink... *

Well, you could G.B if you have had more experience at this kind of thing !!!

Lord M.K*

More experience than you, Sir? I doubt that...

Believe me I'm an absolute virg... novice at this kind of thing !!!

Lord M.K*