h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What do you think I should do?

Well, it's perfectly good cream... seems a shame to let it just sit there and go off.

I should tell you that I have an intolerance to dairy products.

Oh.
*looks down at the smiley faces*
So, er... what are you going to do with all this cream then?

There's a dog round here sosmewhere, they're always keen to clear up food.

Um... couldn't you just wipe it off with a towel?

Oh yes, I suppose I could. Where's yours?

Didn't you tie me to the bed with it?

But I untied you ages ago.

*decides he doesn't fancy any of the cream and runs off with the towel*

Oh dear.
Looks like I'll have to ignore my intolerance and lick it off.

Oh dear. I don't want to cause any side effects.

I'm sure I'll cope.

No hon, it's okay. Don't you have any non-dairy cream-style product you could use instead?

Squirty custard?

Doesn't that have milk in it?

Oh yes, I forgot that.
um, chocolate sauce?

It's not milk chocolate, is it?

Of course not!

It's dark,
very,
very,
very,
dark chocolate.

Well, that should be fine then.
*finds his towel and wipes the cream off*