h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When it comes to living longer, the main thing is to avoid dying. Then you've pretty much got it beat.

I agree. Why, I've already lived for nearly twenty years with this foolproof method. Some of you may say:

"Twenty years? But you're still young!"

Yes! That's the point! I have stayed young by avoiding death and aging. So listen to the Cowboy here, he know's what he's talking about.

I've lived for more than thirty years by using this method, yet it seems somewhat overstated, nowadays, to call me 'young'.

I wonder how long I can keep avoiding death, particularly when he has such influence, as well as a formidable agent...!

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Can I assume that somebody here was telling the Big Secret about how to stay really alive?